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Well. Dont I just hate myself? I have for quite some time, but it was nice not feeling the self-loathing for a while. But of course, i get to screw it up all because im ungrateful. Geez, why do I do these things? Everytime...I find a reason to leave or ignore the only people helping me...Something's got to be wrong with my head. I just...Why do i have to be like this? I can't imagine being any other way.