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God Dammit...
My life is tough right now. My school is being really rough on me, and I feel like one of my teachers is picking on me. I think that there is a teacher like that for everyone, so Im not going to b***h too long about it.

Im a community leader in my school now, which means that I am in charge of the school. It's the scariest most confronting thing I have ever done. IM in charge of weather my friends get kicked out of school or not. And for god sake, all of my friends are the ones that are going to get kicked out. I don't think Im ready for this yet. Im not bold enough to tell my sobbing friend that 'Were going to have to let you go.'

Project week is coming up, and I really need to get ready for it. Im completing a chapter in my book, so at the end of the week ill have around 100 pages. *IS proud* Of course though, the week before project week the school is bombarded with work. Its awful. I have no time to work on my script. I was so pissed at all my work, that I snapped on one of my two favorite teachers. I felt awful and apologized and hugged him, but I still feel bad.

I wish it weren't so cold...
I sure do look baddass, but my legs are sure cold. crying

Oh thank god I have a B day tomorrow, that means that I have Math and LA, my two favorite teachers teach those.

Ok, so theres this kid in my school that I really really hate, and it isnt like me to hate someone this much. He is a spoiled little peace of s**t, who wont ever stop talking and purposely annoys people. He is a huge bully, but he's short so he 'isnt a bully'. He keeps relating me to Hitler. What the ********?! JESUS! I hate this kid! I really want to kick him out of the school, since I am a community leader I have that ability (Kinda...) now.

I want to talk to the principal about bullying. But at the last meeting we never got around to it. Ill talk to him tomorrow about it.

I don't feel good enough to be in this school. I just wrote all of this stuff, and I feel awful for feeling it. I feel terrible for hating this kid so much. I feel terrible for not loving all my teachers. I feel terrible for hating my Ex for trying to rape me, and I feel terrible for leaving all of my best friends to go to this school. I feel terrible for not calling my dad before going off to diner after the meeting, and making him wait around for me at the school for 20 minutes. I feel awful for being mad at my sister for still living with us, when she should be getting a job and going to collage.

So here is the summery.
Im a b***h.

Im a cruel, stupid, demeaning whore that can read you like an open book, and whenever I notice you doing something out of integrity, I myself go out of integrity and make you feel like s**t. Im just as spoiled as that brat I just ranted about.

I left the best friend that I had ever had to go to the school where I hate half of the people.

I need to get a life. Really.






User Comments: [1] [add]
M i t s u k o
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Thu Dec 08, 2005 @ 12:22am
=O I'm commenting!! wow you updated! now I can tell what's happening to ca'te ^.^ [quote]It's the scariest most confronting thing I have ever done. IM in charge of weather my friends get kicked out of school or not. And for god sake, all of my friends are the ones that are going to get kicked out. I don't think Im ready for this yet. Im not bold enough to tell my sobbing friend that 'Were going to have to let you go.' [/quote] yeah =( that sounds crap hard. It's not that you hate your friends at all, but you have to do it because it's your duty as com leader. But if they're smart they'll (hopefully) understand. You can't flounce around life being biased...cause if you had like your little sister XD( if linny ever was that small...can't imagine...too hard) and she was trying out for cheerleading and she sucked, you'd have to pick the other girl. She'd probably b***h about it but that's immature =P pfsh....XD yeah, so although you're the one making that big decision, it was their choice to break the rules or whatever...so sorry this dragging on! I wanna make you feel better :heart: Wee! So glad you got more of your book done <3 I have to come see it like some weekend!! rahr!! kickass, 100 pages :heart: Yeah, we had this paper that was like...worth our entire 8th grade life. XD preparing in advance ish good :heart: go you~! [quote]Ok, so theres this kid in my school that I really really hate, and it isnt like me to hate someone this much. He is a spoiled little peace of s**t, who wont ever stop talking and purposely annoys people. He is a huge bully, but he's short so he 'isnt a bully'. He keeps relating me to Hitler. What the ********?! JESUS! I hate this kid! I really want to kick him out of the school, since I am a community leader I have that ability (Kinda...) now.[/quote] I totally relate O_o Megan marcy is trying to gnaw off my head and be a b***h to me 3/4 of the time she sees me because of choir. Stupid girl... If he gets to a point of being a complete distraction from school, bug your parents about it, they'll (hopefully) listen better probably. And say he's keeping you from concentrating XD cause then it'll be a problem "because school is your life tacked up in those grades blar brar" and they'll consider him a threat to your sucess [quote]I don't feel good enough to be in this school. I just wrote all of this stuff, and I feel awful for feeling it. I feel terrible for hating this kid so much. I feel terrible for not loving all my teachers. I feel terrible for hating my Ex for trying to rape me, and I feel terrible for leaving all of my best friends to go to this school. I feel terrible for not calling my dad before going off to diner after the meeting, and making him wait around for me at the school for 20 minutes. I feel awful for being mad at my sister for still living with us, when she should be getting a job and going to collage.[/quote] Not feeling good enough may not be your fault at all. If your dad gets all pissed cause he had to wait for 20 minutes and blars off to you, he's expecting hella lot from you. I mean, ca'te were 14. We're supposed to be irrisponsible and crap. I think he wants you to go "pop" and become a completely independant woman and just remember everything ever said to you. Theory: he's venting on you because linny hasn't left for college or whatever. My mom was talking about that too O_o Anyway, I hope linny has some idea of direction she wants to take eventually, she can't live off your mommy and daddy forever. but I love linny, don't get me wrong. :xp: Not loving all of your teachers? Hate them but pretend you don't. Don't let them know it, just seeth and if you don't outwardly express it your hate might dissipate. Once again O-o if it gets distracting then you can always vent about it to me!! cause you know I always do the same to you XDD ahahah "I feel terrible for hating my Ex for trying to rape me" he should go die somewhere...ahem...I mean....*cough* I wish inconveniant injury upon him. Don't worry about hating him, he deserves it. he should also never wear sky blue hoodies from abercrombie...I mistook him for a girl....*shudder* only when he turned around it was a very messed up creepy weird person and I wanted to shout "SKY BLUE IS SO NOT YOUR COLOR!!" ahem...right, I miss you though, and I can't deny that =( mish, we need to make our own school...which would be the most kick-a** school on the face of texas. Don't let thoughts of being a b***h catch up to you. some people out there really suck. We should meet up over the weekend or next one or something. We could talk/vent/eat candy/gush over bishounen and stuff <3 Anyway, sorry again that this was so long! woo!


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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