Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Chapter 9
Coming into Light

The tall, thin street lights, carefully and methodically spaced along the sidewalk, slowly became illuminated as the two boys made their way home in the light evening snow. Each bulb the light posts began as a periodic flicker and then, after some minutes, shined its dull orange glow onto the ground before it as if it were a rest stop for weary travelers on their way to their final destination on this cold and dark evening. To many drivers, the streetlights were merely protectors against night’s mysterious and frightening secrets. To Virgil, they seemed like dull, yet illuminated havens within a dark and snowy evening. Under one of these such havens stood Daniel. Virgil, outside of the lamppost’s glowing aegis, stood listening to his friend talking. Earlier Virgil had voiced his opinion that maybe calling each other and talking on the phone was much safer than spending an evening in the cold of winter with an impending storm. Upon Virgil ending his sentence, Daniel merely shook his head and said, “It’s better this way. You might actually listen this time,”
“Why do you say that?” His companion asked as he slowly became immersed in the encroaching darkness of the evening. It was getting late and a thick, dark blanket of clouds had already concealed the sun hours ago. “I’ve listened to you before on the phone,”
“Not exactly,” Daniel said, leaning against the lamppost with his hands in his pockets. The dull glow of the light from the lamp over him revealed much about him as he and Virgil’s eyes met. As Virgil waited for a continuation of his friend’s vague response, he managed to catch a glimpse of the tired and ragged side of his friend. Just like a decoder toy in a child’s cereal box, the light from the lamppost revealed the anxiety and stress in his friend’s mien that had been hidden by the hustle and bustle of a busy school day. His face no longer carried its usual bright look. Now, it seemed that Daniel had aged decades within a matter of hours. Below his eyes were visible bags, and his eyes themselves were red with sleep deprivation. He seemed as though he had had enough, and he was on the verge of falling asleep standing up.
“How so?” Virgil asked, stepping closer into the light of the lamppost. “It’s basically the same,”
“No, it’s not,” Daniel said, rubbing his eyes. Giving Virgil a tired look, he merely said, “The cold will keep your focused. And the silence will ensure that you hear me,” Although tired, he managed to force out a small grin before it faded away along with much of his leftover vivacity. Resting his backpack down, Daniel sat on top of it and remained with his back on the lamppost. “So anyway,” he said, rubbing his eyes again. “you’ve seemed distracted lately. Like every time I look at you, you seem to be spaced out. What’s the deal?”
Virgil remained in silence, listening to the gentle wind blowing. The encroaching darkness, once weaker earlier in the evening, had become much stronger, making the methodically placed havens of light seem more and more vital in retaining the semblance of light in a darkening world. “Nothing,” He said. “It’s just the circumstances between you and Maria,” Avoiding Daniel’s tired gaze, he looked up at the bulb in the lamppost overhead and said, “and me,”
Raising a tired eyebrow, the ragged teen said, “You? What could we possibly have to talk about,” Daniel yawned. “that would concern you in any way?”
“I don’t know,” Virgil said with his arms folded, all the while wishing he had his vest back from Daniel. It was getting colder and he could barely concentrate on Daniel and his questions. Going home to him seemed like a distant dream. “It seems to me that I’m caught in between that battle that you and Maria are waging,”
The tired smile returned to Daniel’s face for a fleeting moment, and then receded. “I can assure you, man,” He said, looking down at the snowy ground. “we’re fine. We just need some time apart before the baby comes, you know? I know it seems crazy but,” His eyes lifting from the ground, fell upon Virgil again. “I’m sorta tired of her. It’s her constant complaining about the pains of being a mother and all that…stuff,” Daniel stopped himself from swearing out of anger. “So, don’t worry,” He assured his friend as his anger receded. In a lowered tone, he finished with saying, “I’ll try to keep you out of the ‘crossfire’. Is that all?” His eyes, falling back on the ground, signaled to Virgil that Daniel was still wrestling with some inner problem.
“And?” Virgil said incredulously. “You’re sure that’s it? You decide to keep me out here in a cold evening just to tell me that you’re gonna protect me from your battle?” Virgil began pacing from one side of the sidewalk to the other, the snow crunching under his feet. “That doesn’t seem like you. It seems like,” He started. Turning to the tired boy under the streetlight, who, at the moment was pulling something out of his pant leg, he said, “something else is on your mind, I know it,” Stepping closer into the warm glow of the streetlight and at the same time noticing the object that was slowly revealing itself, Virgil asked, “What are you doing, Daniel?”
Daniel slowly shook his head and rubbed his tired eyes. “Nothing,” He answered. Gingerly reaching into his jeans, he began to slip Terrence’s gun out of his pants.
“What are you doing, Daniel?” Virgil repeated cautiously. “Don’t take that gun out here! People will see!”
Daniel, looking around from left to right several times, said, “What people? It’s the middle of the evening and in the snow. Who else besides crazy people would be out here?” Lifting the gun under the light, Daniel began to examine it closely. Its sleek, black color began to hypnotize him. “Wow,” Daniel said. “My cousin must have been rich to pick this baby up,”
“Daniel, you idiot!” Virgil whispered as he stepped into the heart of the light post’s dull protection. “Don’t have that up in the air like that! Don’t you know if someone sees it, you can go to jail?”
Ignoring his friend, Daniel continued to look the weapon over, examining its barrel, trigger, and handle. “This is an interesting gun, Virgil,” Daniel said, not even looking up. “Come here and look,” Waving a hand to Virgil, he beckoned for him. Virgil, moved closer, his eyes focused on the gun in Daniel’s hand. Suddenly, Daniel raised the gun to Virgil.
“Daniel! What are you doing?” Virgil exclaimed as he lifted his hands into the air.
“Bang,” Daniel quietly said with a smile. “The gun’s magazine is empty. Apparently my cousin had only one bullet left…for me,” His smile faded along with his voice and he lowered the gun and tossed it to Virgil. “Catch,” He said wistfully.
Virgil, catching the gun, immediately dropped it. Because of the layer of snow on the sidewalk, it landed soundlessly and then sank into the snow.
“Butter fingers,” Daniel said under his breath, looking down at the sinking gun. Picking it up, Daniel grabbed Virgil’s wrist and laid the gun in his right hand. “Hold it there in your hand and do not drop it,” He said. “I want you to feel pure power,”
“Pure power?” Virgil repeated. He wasn’t sure that holding a gun could constitute as pure power. Although he was aware of the potential a gun could hold in the wrong hands, power was not the word for it. The only word that came to mind was…
“Cowardice, to be exact,” Virgil said under his breath. Looking up to Daniel, he added, “Only cowards use guns, you know that, Daniel?”
The exhausted boy sighed as Virgil pretended to give the gun another look-over. “Yeah, sure,” He said. “But, you see, Virgil, that gun in your hand has the ability to decide life or death for a person. Doesn’t that seem like pure power?” Taking the gun from Virgil’s hand, Daniel again pointed it at Virgil. “Reacting naturally,” he said. “Wouldn’t you do almost anything the wielder of this gun demanded only to spare your life?”
Virgil, hesitating, quietly said, “It depends. What if I’m not afraid to die? What if I don’t care what the outcome is? What if I accept that this could be my last moments on earth? I know if it were me and I knew that the end was coming, I wouldn’t even flinch as that bullet came whizzing through the air. Now put that gun down, Daniel, before somebody notices you,” Submitting to his friend’s will, Daniel lowered the gun and shoved it into his pocket. By now the snowfall had become heavier, yet the wind never stirred. Looking around, Virgil noticed that Daniel’s backpack that had been lying on the ground had accumulated a fine layer of snow on the top.
“So,” Daniel began, after another quick wipe of his face with his hand. He decided to return their conversation to its original intent after minutes of dodging the real question. “I’m going to ask you again, Virgil: What is wrong with you?”
“I told you, Daniel, nothing,” Virgil said, his temper rising. Suddenly, Daniel began to step closer to Virgil. When he became face-to-face with his friend, he stood in front of him and simply stared. Staring back at Daniel, Virgil refused to move. He felt that this was the closest he had ever been to Daniel and would possibly ever be. Minutes passed, and as time wore on, the two unmoving figures under the lamppost continued to examine each other.
“I see,” Daniel said to himself after looking Virgil in the eye for some minutes. “You gave me that look again,” As he stepped back to give Virgil space, he said, “It’s that same look you gave me when we were walking home the week before my party. And I noticed this one again a few hours ago when you asked do you want to walk home together,” Daniel displayed a wry grin. “What’s going on? This look of yours has appeared quite frequently. But, then again, I’ve noticed that it only appears when you look me in the eye. Are you hiding something?”
Virgil, obviously taken aback, quickly responded, “No. Why would you think that?” Pulling at the straps of his backpack, Daniel knew from experience that Virgil was nervous. Playing on this anxiety, he started to smile wider.
“Really?” The smiling adolescent said. He could barely contain the smile. “I’m sure there’s something else under that calm and rational exterior,” Stroking his chin, Daniel began to circle Virgil like a shark zooming in on its prey. “I’m also sure that you’re not who you say you are,” Daniel continued to circle Virgil, his eyes trained on the ground as he walked. Stopping beside Virgil and putting his arm around his friend’s shoulder, he said, “are you, Virgil?” Virgil, taking on a defensive plan, stepped away from Daniel.
“Of course I am, Dan,” Virgil said. Suddenly, something about what he had just said struck him as unusual and caused him to tug at his backpack straps a little harder. Immediately after he finished his sentence, he noticed that he called Daniel “Dan”—a name he never used on a daily basis, let alone in his whole life. In his thoughts, however, he would use that name as a term of endearment, but he would never use it aloud. Noticing the same blunder, Daniel’s eyebrow raised and an unsettling smile appeared across his face.
“That’s unusual,” Daniel said as he gave his friend a bewildered look. “I’ve never heard you call me ‘Dan’ in my whole life,” He smiled and shrugged. “I mean, it’s not a problem, but it seems unusual that you just called me that when I started questioning you,”
Virgil stood in silence. “Well, you know,” He said after a few minutes of attempting to re-establish his cool façade. “Things like that just slip out. I occasionally use that word in my head,” Passing it off as a harmless blunder, he continued by saying, “This time, I thought about using it on you just to see how you would react,” A small but false grin appeared on his face. “And you behaved the way I had expected,”
“Whatever then,” Daniel said. “It still doesn’t explain why you always give me that odd look. But I don’t care at the moment,” Looking up at the sky, he added, “It’s getting late and I need to get home now,” Turning his head to one side, he winked at Virgil. “I still got time to interrogate you later. I wasn’t expecting to spend my Friday evening saving a life and questioning my friend about his odd behavior. I expect to go home and get some rest before tomorrow,” Brushing off the snow that had piled up on his backpack, he said, “I have things to do tomorrow,” Daniel, taking off Virgil’s vest, handed it to Virgil and slung his backpack over his shoulder.
“Like what?” Virgil inquired as he began to take off his own backpack and dress himself in his warm vest. Now that the spotlight was off of him, he had time to ask questions.
“Shopping,” Daniel answered in disdain as he put his right arm through one of the straps on his bag. “Maria’s mother wants me to go shopping with her and Maria to pick out baby stuff. We’re going everywhere and I’m going to be busy all afternoon. This oughta be fun,” He said bitterly. “I had other plans to do. I had planned to hang out with Melissa tomorrow. I guess that’s not going to happen,”
Virgil shrugged as he zipped up his vest. “That’s what happens when you decide to mess around. You have to pay the price,” Shooting Daniel a cold smile, he said, “In your case, shopping for baby clothes that, had you restrained yourself at that certain time in the past, could have been avoided,”
“Shut up, Virgil,” Daniel said sharply. “I didn’t need your comment,” The cold reaction Virgil received from Daniel surprised him. Although he knew that it was he who had stirred the anger within Daniel, he did not expect him to react in a hostile way. “I-I’m sorry, Daniel,” Virgil said, his face relaxing. “I guess this cold is making me a little hostile,”
Daniel shot him a frozen look. “Sure,” He said in his monotonous voice. “Just make sure it doesn’t happen again,” Turning away from Virgil, he began to make his way out of the lamppost’s light and into the darkness of the evening, leaving Virgil, in the glow of the streetlight, alone. The snowflakes, drifting down gracefully in the darkness of the evening, swallowed the figure in the distance like a white monster. As Virgil stood there watching Daniel go, the once-bright light of the lamppost began to flicker. Its life was running short. Even it, too, was on the verge of succumbing to the tempting darkness. “Stupid light,” Virgil mumbled angrily to himself as he looked to the dying bulb. “It can’t even stay lit long enough,”