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rythabrat's poem journal


rythabrat
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A Brother’s Death

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I slammed my hand on the snooze button and stumbled out of bed. After that I went to take my medicine to you ,you would thank I would have this down by now .By now this has been my routine for five solid years now that my brother Cody moved in you would think he would stop aggravating me but he doesn’t.
Hey Cody, Brice it’s time to catch the bus, I shouted
All right they, shouted at the same time
I haven’t talked to Cody for a day now, and I’m starting to miss his aggravations .But once I got on the bus I stated to get the feeling that something bad was going to happen that day. The feeling kept nagging at me all day and I simply didn’t know why. So I decided to ignore the stupid feeling besides it just felt like warnings to me.
Once I arrived at school I started to ignore everything in my presence. I ended up falling asleep during Texas History. Man I was having such a nice dream until Blondie had to go wake me up, while I shot up in my seat yelling “monkey bonanza”! Man I got into a lot of trouble but it still felt like something was a miss. The entire day went by slowly but by the time I got home. Once I went through the door everything was so quite, so I yelled “Anyone home”! No answer so I tried again but this time I yelled out “Monkeys”! But still I did not get an answer. So I walked across the carpet towards my Brother’s room. I opened the door quietly so that way if Cody wasn’t asleep I wouldn’t wake him, but as soon as my foot touched the other side of his door I saw a pale figure on the bed which was strange sense I knew my brother wasn’t pale when we left for school, so I crept closer still not able to see if he was sick so I crept closer until I saw he wasn’t breathing so I checked for a pulse but all I found was a slow light beat so that means something.
I tried to think for a minute what that meant so I hurriedly ran to the phone to call an ambulance but after I made the call I went to check up on Cody .I found out he didn’t make it because he had a wound in his stomach, caused by a gun. Why did it feel like some one was trying to kill Cody while we were all out? I was so sad I could only blame my self and ask myself questions like.
“Was I a good sister?”
“Did he take my fate?”
“Did I follow the right path?”
“Would I switch places with him if I could?”
Every time I thought of it would always make my eyes burn. It hurt ….It hurt so much to loose my eldest sibling .You would have thought if I really hated him I wouldn’t be grieving right now but sadly your mistaken. I guess you could say I would truly miss him but I really don’t know.
As days passed by all I could do was cry .My nose is stuffed up, my eyes are red and puffy they hurt. But the hurt and sadness wouldn’t go away .It just felt like there was a big black cloud over me and “WOULD NOT GO AWAY!” I was at the brink of insanity and I didn’t know if I could hold up. I was trying, I was really trying. As I fell asleep I didn’t have the same nightmare I usually have, I had a dream about Cody saying I was going to get through this and that he loved me and that he forgave me for saying “I hated him”. After that I just started to go back to normal, like I was happy all the time. Not really kind of gloomy, I fake smiles the entire table, and they say we don’t need siblings.





 
 
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