Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Syooooo... I saw King Kong today.
You ask of me; How, Excel, would you describe this film?
To. Effing. Long.
At three hours, this hulk of a movie drones on tediously. Easily, it could have been slashed to two hours, with the removal of completely unnessicary plot threads, gratuitus scenes, and repetative shots of actor staring at green screen in horror/awe/sadness.
Most of the scenes before arriving at Skull Island? Worthless. Nifty? Sure. But not worth the hour it takes. Subplot about the dude at the stowaway? Who ******** cares? Grizzled sea captain with a shadey side business? ******** it. Get to the monkey.
Once they hit upon said island, things pick up a little. I absolutly love dthe look and feel of the native village. Not unlike Myst, but with things that kill you. It was the only really scary scene in the movie, and it had prolly just about zero special effects. It would have been nice for them to explain what happened with these peeps; they just kind of...went away after the heros re-land upon them. *shrug*
Anyways, from Opening Credits to Chick Gets Sacricifed, you probably could have mowed out 30 - 40 minutes of "who cares?" Now, we enter...the Jungle!
Prehistoric Jungle Survival Rule #1: Everything wants to eat you.
Everything.
Christ, every damn thing wanted a piece of human a**. Things that just ate a third their weight in animal were suddenly like, "hey, dessert!" Raptors passed up thousands of pounds of fresh, just-dead Brontoburgers for a quick snack of boney n' clothey. ******** tyranosaurs dangling from their death plunge by vines were compleatly preoccupied with getting that nibble. Priorities! The nastiest scene was when the peeps got trapped in a gorge with hundreds of hige-a**, impossible insects that suddenly decided that they can only eat mammals; not each other, or anything. God, there's a demographic on 4chan that I'm sure creamed their pants over that, but bleeeehhhh! It was almost as bad as Temple of Doom. Slash out 25 - 30 minutes of crazy jungle antics.
Back to Broadway, Tenacious D himself puts on a show that would make Max Bialystock blush, and the gorilla goes ape-s**t crazy. Best scene of the movie: Kong searches for his fovoritest blonde, and grabs and tosses aside the wannabes like flawed skipping stones. biggrin I'm sorry, but that made me giggle like an idiot.
Then he climbs up a building and dies. Save 10 minutes of actor/gorilla staring at each other meaningfully. Dude, the monkey's sad, we get it, move on.
Really, what this movie needed was someone who had a high-school level of an understanding of pyshics ( http://www.intuitor.com/moviephysics/ ), and a few more fly-bys through the editing room. Dude, if chicha is tied to the stakes by rope as thick as her damn arm, and gorilla decides to bust her free by grabbing her torso and pulling until the rope snaps? Say goodbye to your arms, cause they're dislocated at best. Pissed off gorilla flings you around like a fly swatter? Neck goes snap, you die. You go shooting a damn SMG one handed while swinging around on a vine like a moron, you hit: nothing.
Call me petty, I won't argue, but that s**t ruins films for me.
It wasn't bad, for the most part, but it definatly felt like everyone just let Peter do his thing with it, and no one had the balls to say, "No, that's dumb, don't do that." *shrug*
King Kong gets 4/9 tribal Natives.

Well, [******** me with a stick. sad
Damn, that sucks. I haven't seen any West Wings much past Season 4, but he was always one of my favorites. s**t. Now I'm in a bad mood. evil

Listening to: Chrono Cross OST