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Diary of awesome me.
{{ Most likely haunted. It reposts comments all over the place for some ungodly reason. }}
RANT: ******** BUGS in my ******** apartment
Okay. WHERE. in the ********. are all these bugs coming from?!!!!

Jesus Christ! It's like it got warm out and every bug in Berlin has taken refuge from the heat in my apartment!

The ******** flies in my shower: I demand an explanation. I ******** kill all four of you every morning, only to wake up and find that you have reanimated yourselves. What kind of ******** up voodoo s**t are you four up to in there while I'm asleep?

And the gnats that keep landing on my computer screen? Who ARE you?!! ******** OFF!!

To the spiders: spiders as big as you can only have one function, and it has to be something utterly terrible like eating children or paralyzing dogs or something. So what the ******** are you doing in my apartment all the time? And for the love of all that is good and holy, when I come at you with a wad of toilet paper, PLEASE stop that ******** JUMPING bullshit!!! My God! Do you not HEAR me shriek like a little girl every time? Are you TRYING to humiliate me? Do you get a KICK out of making a grown man screech like a schoolgirl?! Just ******** let me grab you in the toilet paper wad and ******** take it like a man!

And the silverfish? I'm sorry. You are by far the most disgusting creatures on earth and you are the most cogent evidence of the existence of Satan that I can think of. What in the hell do you need all those ******** legs for? You are utterly gross.

And finally, to the junebugs: HOW IN THE EVER-LOVING HELL ARE YOU GETTING IN HERE??!!! You're all ENORMOUS!!!! Where the hell are you COMING from? You're ******** disgusting!!! STAY THE HELL OUTSIDE!!!!

srslythebestentryonthissiteever






User Comments: [1] [add]
Spiked Optimism
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sat Jul 18, 2009 @ 05:23am
LMFAO


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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