So much joy and so much happiness is always matched with so much sorrow.
The past couple of months for me have been filled with the most strangest events that have ever happened to me. Perhaps it's best to start from the beginning.
On my birthday on the 4th November my best friend took me ice-skating in London, and apart from where the skates cut my ankle I had an amazing time. To put it simply this friend is the person I've had growing feelings for, so much so I think I'm actually in love. Obviously though I'm a very shy and stupid person, unable to express my feelings to anyone so we've never gone further than hugs and affectionate glances. I always had a sneaking suspicion that he held feelings for me too...but obviously I was still worried that perhaps I was seeing what I wanted to see.
Well anyway we were standing outside in the cold and I could tell something was on his mind, and before I knew it he was kissing me! Okay it was just a little peck on the cheek but it was so nice that I was knocked speechless. We then went into one of those deep, emotional conversations which involved explaining our feelings and decided that we would give it a go.
Then a couple of days later after things returning to normal we kissed again and since then we've been getting closer and closer. He is definately the one! The one I want to spend my life with, the one I want to share things with...perhaps even marry one day! I love him so much!
Then perhaps at the beginning of december I finally get the courage to tell him...to tell him that I love him and he says it back and I'm almost close to tears, but manage to will them away.
There are days when things are simply amazing! When we're both so happy that when we're together life seems practically perfect...and then...one day he's upset. We'ver been for a walk by the river and he asks me about my dreams, what I'd love to do in my life...and I'm not sure how to answer...he tells me he wants to visit places and I say I'm not that interested in that. I'm afraid of the big bad world!
Then that night after the film we'd been watching ends he asks me what I feel, says he's afraid to lose me, and because of my inability to express my feelings we both end up crying in each other's arms.
Well we sorted things out, expressed our love through heart-felt words and things were okay again. I've never been so happy in my entire life!
Then a week before christmas we went iceskating again, this time with a group of his friends. We were on the train on the way to London when a girl asks him: 'what's happening about your house, you still being forced to decorate?' I pretend not to listen, I didn't want to hear his answer, but he says, 'no not lately, though probably sometime soon.' My heart's thumping and she asks, 'so your mum still wants to move up north then.' and he says yes in a sort of miserable way. Now I have tears in my eyes as I remember what he told me a couple of months back...that he might have to leave and go somewhere I can't reach him.
Then she says; 'what will you do? Will you go with her?' and he says. 'yes, I'll have to.'
It's killing me inside, slowly but surely eating me up as I realise that one day it could happen and he won't be there anymore. I won't be able to hold him, look into his eyes and tell him I love him. I'll be alone again. All alone.
I want to beg him not to go, but that's selfish of me isn't it? And they always say; if you love him, set him free...
Well anyway, for now we're okay, playing Baldur's gate and enjoying spending time with one another. My life is basically revolved around him, constantly wanting to be with him and to never leave his side.
Anyway enough of the whole boyfriend business, and onto something else.
My Seeno, my dear, dear, beautiful Seeno who was a great an amazing friend to me. He's been struck with RL problems so serious he is unable to get onto the computer anymore. It breaks my heart to lose him so unexpectedly and at such a festive time.
I love him dearly and he is a friend I will cherish whether he's online or not.
I pray for his safe return and that one day soon he can be online again and talkign with me as we used to. I told him so myself, and he has given Keir to me so that I can take care of her whilst he is away.
I shall do my best for you Seeno...I will try my hardest to meet your standards and make everyone happy. I will never forget the friendship we have and have strong hope that you'll return one day.
Kimaria Community Member 
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