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Journal of Nikolai Petronovich
A journal of rants about things that have happened that I can't talk to people about.
It's funny isn't it?
It's funny isn't it, how we do so many bad things in our lives. How so many times we get away with it. But the one time we do something bad, for a good reason, when at last our intentions are noble...that's when we get caught. When finally someone notices that you've done the wrong thing, you weren't going to benefit. I mean, take it this way. I'm sitting in America right now. I lied to get here. I lied to the people I'm staying with about why I'm here. All of it selfish lies, did I get caught? Hell no. I got away with it, perfectly just about. But now I'm getting kicked out. Did they find out I'm 17? Did they find out I'm not an exchange student? No. They didn't. They found out I looked in Loreli's boyfriend's phone. Why did I do it? Because I had heard he was cheating on her, and I wanted to talk to the supposed other girlfriend. Amazing huh? I'm looking out for someone, and I get kicked out, with no other friends to see, and 21 bloody days until that plane lifts off. Get this too. I'm being kicked out by her parents. Her parents are kicking me out, for being a bit sneaky, while trying to look out for her. While trying to protect her from getting hurt. You know what? If I was right, if the now ex-girlfriend had still been going out with him. I wouldn't be getting kicked out. I'd be getting thanked I reckon. Talk about bloody double standards. And they're the ones thinking I'm acting inappropriately. Seriously now. People need to smarten up, and realize a bit more about themselves. So now what? Now I'm going to ask Loreli's mother, her real mother, if I can stay with her for a bit. Turnabout is fair play I guess. If they're kicking me out to stay with her, then I suppose it's only fair I try and help to further her agendas. So what am I going to do you ask? Simple. Really simple. I'm gonna give her the answers. She wonders why Loreli hates her. I'm going to show her how not to be a bad mother. How to make Loreli love her. Then I'm going to get Lizzie to talk to Loreli about moving back. For one week. To clear her head from the kids. I'm staying there, and I've talked to her, if things get bad I'll intervene for her, I'll be the mediator. Iuno. Just a thought really. I don't know what I want to do. Maybe I should go find somewhere to die. Just take Loreli's knife, go down the creek and slit my throat, wait to bleed out. It'd probs be peaceful huh? But of course I won't. I'm too scared. Bags packed, just need to talk to Gene and ring Lizzie. Better get working on "unclaiming" the computer.





 
 
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