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My diary of some sort? crappy name xD
s**t and stuff?
I keep crying so much, the tears never really go away. More and more bad news keeps coming and being shoved in my face. Heh, it's oddly quite funny to be seen as an anorexic person. I just know that's what the Doctor was thinking when she weighed me. Stupid people...Just cause I can't eat doesn't mean I'm a anorexic girl. Food just makes me wanna puke, I try really hard to eat for Aaron cause if I didn't I'd break the promise I made him. Right now though, I'm trying to keep down the french fries without puking it up. Plus the fact I have to take more pills isn't making me so happy. I hate pills. If I could not take them would be awesome, but it's strange. No one even has to tell me to take my pills. I just take them without any hassle. Maybe it's cause I know if I don't take them I can't live...and if I don't live. I leave Aaron all alone. I can't do that to him. He's had to much to deal with and with me gone would make him go insane..at least I think he would. Aaron doesn't know how much he makes life seem better for me. Even with this lupus s**t he makes it better...I really need him right now. Really badly in fact. He'd be ashamed of me for not sleeping. But how can I sleep when your all I can think about? He's the last thing I think about before sleeping and the first thing to pop in my head after I wake up. He's simply just my everything. To even think someone could ever love me...makes me feel so happy and safe knowing I'm not alone.

Aaron's my world, he's what I would wish for every night. On every star, until I would fall asleep. I'm just really amazed I can say "Yes I have boyfriend, and he's all I want and more." I can't handle having him so far away.





 
 
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