Yeah I know It sounds like I'm an EMO.
I have already accepted that I can't be the person who I really want to be but deep in my heart I crave that person.
That person can wear skirts to her heart's content.
That person is not shy.
That person has a lot of admirers.
That person is really beautiful.
That person have the perfect legs that I crave.
That person has the confidence that I don't have.
That person can look good in any hairstyle she wants.
That person doesn't think that she's ugly.
That person is outgoing.
That girl can do anything.
I can never be her. That person is the one I have formed in my imagination.
Because of that, It pains me every second seeing people like her.
I hated those.
I can't wear skirts to my heart's content.
I'm shy
I never had any admirers
I'm not beautiful
I have a lot of scars in my legs that they're not perfect
I don't have any confidence
I don't look good in any hairstyle I want
I think I'm ugly
I'm not outgoing
I can't do anything.
The two of us are different. We can't exist together.
I want to go to the extent that I want to kill all those that can be "her".
"Her" parents will admire her as if she's the most beautiful person in the world.
That's why I hate myself.
They made me like this. What if I die right now? No one will get affected anyway. They have my younger sister. But dying because of loneliness sucks.
They just made friends with me because they pity me.
I hate my life!
Nothing good comes from it!
The decisions I want to are always rejected. The school I'm currently in, I don't want to be in there. I want to go back to where I really belong.
I can't run
I can't laugh
I can't smile
I want a normal life. A life of a normal teenager.
I want to go somewhere where nobody knows me.
The question is: Will I be able to accomplish that?
bookishpig Community Member 
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