She amazing. She is so wonderfully amazing and I am still in awe. Sometimes I think she might be just a figment of my imagination because she's just that unreal. It sure would explain how one person can be that great. Is she really real or am I just insane?
I know what she wants. I may not know what she needs, but I know what she wants wants. I can see it, but I am not it. I could pretend to be it, but it would fall apart down the line because the experience and foundation wouldn't be there. The substance, the essence that makes people themselves and honesty. I choose to be myself, though I barely know who myself is, because I know how to be that person the best. When I'm myself I'm giving someone a chance to appreciate me and what I am, thought I might have some things to work on. If I was to pretend to be someone else they would never love me, they can only love my act. My point, be yourself, perhaps even work on yourself, but don't pretend to be something that you're not because you can only act for so long, once the act is up you'll come off as dishonest and everything you pretended so hard for will crumble. I'm rambling now.
Maybe in time I could grow into her ideal man, but I am not it at this moment. I might be under a spell of a different woman by the time I get to that point, that's if I let myself. As of now I'd feel as if I'm cheating because of the feelings I have in my heart. Yes, I'm hardheaded. I'm hoping to look at this one day with a smile. I wonder what the future holds and how much more I will grow. I have grown quite a lot thanks to her. I don't think she has any idea of the magnitude of my appreciation. I am glad that I am writing down more happy thoughts nowadays instead of melancholy ones and I have only one person to thank for that. Thank you so much for everything.
 niatsu · Mon Aug 24, 2009 @ 05:12am · 0 Comments |
