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this i wrote the other day. sorta for me and seth but you can read it if you want.

Well I guess this is how it feels to write down everything in my head. This last week has been great. Seth is awesome. And I really can't wait until we are boyfriend and girlfriend. But how do I know when we take that transition from being just friend to being in a relationship. I am really glad we stared out as friends. We have gotten to know each other a lot over this last week. And that is better than anything I ever had with Mikael. I needed someone I could talk to and never run out of things to say. That's what I have with Seth. When I stop the think, all I can think about is him. I'll have to admit that I don't want to lose something like this. I guess that is one of the things I am scared of. And I see in Seth someone I can feel comfortable with, and not be pushed to do anything I don't want to do. If we were to lie next to each other and just be there, I don't see anything more happening than us just taking each other in, lying there, and me being happy I'm there with him. I admit that I am nervous around him. But only because I am afraid that I might do something wrong and he wouldn't like me anymore. But I am slowly getting over that. I'm becoming more comfortable with him. Mrs. Teresa told my mom that she could really tell that Seth liked me. It was even hard for me to look him straight in the eyes. But I can now, and it's great. I have gotten to the point where I DO want to see him every day. If I could be with him every single second of the day, I know there would never be a dull moment and I would love every second. I thank God for him. And that says a lot. God has given him to me for a reason and I'm not sure what it is but I just pray at night that God will take over. I know God will let the right thing happen. I really do like Seth a lot. I would even say I love him but I can't be sure yet. It takes time for that. And I know when the time is right I will know it is true. I don't know how far we will go in our relationship but I really hope we will have a great one. And all this has happened in one whole week. It's hard for me to believe. Even our first kiss was great. I had the greatest feeling after and I love this feeling. It's all so great. And I can't wait to have pictures of us. I know for Christmas my mom will have her pictures of all her kids and there significant others. wink . With him I have a sense of adventure. But we would be the people to go and then come back home. I've never wanted to leave because I had the feeling I would never come back. We have a lot in common. He likes church like I do. And that is what I needed. Me checking the list of what I want in a guy, he is more than 75% of those things. Being with Seth is great and I don't want to be with anyone else. I really don't want to think of us being apart. Even when I go to Minnesota for 2 weeks, I'll miss him a lot. And he talks about going to Iraq for war or going to work on the rigs. I'm afraid of being alone and that scares me. I guess I need someone to be here with me. I know even if he is away I would be truthful and not go for anyone else. I do that for any guy I am with. But for Seth, I don't think about other guys. When I was with Mikael I did. I kept thinking of Zach, Jared, or Chris. All the guys I used to like. But since I've been with Seth, I haven't thought of any of them. They are far from my mind. And I don't see myself ever thinking of anyone else.

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