I'm scared.
My girlfriend moved away to go to college. We promised to stay together and make it work. But it's only been a few days, and we're both very upset. She doesn't like talking on the phone, and is very busy. So our time even communicating is limited.
I am willing to do everything in my power to make our relationship work. She wants to stay with me. But at the same time is at the age where she feels she needs to do everything alone. I'm trying to support this, but am terrified she's going to break under stress and leave me.
I moved back to Illinois, Iowa to find happiness again. I was completely a wreck in Tennessee. Then once I got here, I found Josie and was truly happy again. For the first time in years.
We've been together a little over half a year now. But then she moved off for college. Which is great, but leaves me here alone. None of my old friends in this area have the time or want to rekindle are old close friendships. I still have my family. But they would support me if I left.
Josie doesn't want to feel shackled by calling or texting each other each day to keep our bond together. This is a very sharp contrast to when we lived together, and worked together all summer long.
I'm at the point where I want to leave again. But finacially am unable to do. Josie doesn't want me to do it either. Due to fear one day our relationship would go sour, and she'd feel responsible. But I also fear that if I do nothing, I'll feel responsible.
I could manage this if she didn't get annoyed at me when we talk on the phone. Simply because she doesn't like phones, and I was sad from missing her. But she spent mornings crying about moving since she left. Am I not allowed to be sad too?
In every fiber of my being I want this to work. I do not want distance, and the like to negatively effect our relationship. I want to be with her. I have been willing to support her every step of the way. Even when I slightly felt unimportant when she left. I reassured myself that was silly, and she was just doing what she had always wanted to do. Go to the art college she had wanted to since she was little.
I know how to make long distance relationships work. It can be done. I'm just terrified she's going to think she has to do everything alone. When I could of been with her, still giving her independence. It's not like I've ever told her what to do. I've always followed, and supported her. I want us to be happy. We can do this.
I'm just so scared.
~DJ Bothwell
 XDvandalDJ · Wed Sep 09, 2009 @ 04:41pm · 0 Comments |
