Wow I feel like crap right now, its been a day and I still miss you. It hit me like a brick wall. I mean we never talked it over you just came to my house and said you want to break up. It really hurts, mainly when I go to your profile and you still have hearts around us. Because of that I wonder if you really met it or do you want to hurt me more?
My heart lituraly ached yesturday. I cried myself to sleep for the first time in years. Right now I feel numb. I'm praying with all my heart this is some kind of nightmare.
Gods, I had no idea how hard I fell for you. Your the kind of guy I love to hang out with, your fun, loving, at times idiotic, but your a really great guy. It sucks all hell that you want to break up, I mean I really do love you. I don't see why you didn't talk to be about me being mean or not spending enough time with each other, before you decided that we needed to break up.
I'm not mad at you at all. I think I might be if it had something to do with Jared. If its possible I'd love to talk to you and I hope we can get back together. But being that I'm scared that you'll reject me, I may not do it.
Oddly enough this coming Monday I was going to bring you some godly muffins I made, I know that lately I kind of had taken things out on you, thanks to my problems with Dawn. I really don't mean to be cruel or mean to you.
I don't even know why I would be posting this, its not like your going to come back on gaia anymore, may if jared made you, but than again would you even look at this? Would you even read this? Its about 6:45 am right now. I still don't know what to do. I have to say, one of my thoughts is that you promised that you wouldn't break up right after too.
Gods I already miss you. If we can't talk things over and get back together, at the very least, the very least, I want to be friends and put this behind us.
 vanchaswolfcub · Sun Sep 27, 2009 @ 01:46pm · 0 Comments |
