Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Well a new update I'd assume. I've been kind of lonely lately due to my beloved not really seeing me that often maybe once a week if Im lucky. I really dont want to lose her and as far as I know she don't want to lose me. I've been thinking though that maybe I love her too much you know? What if I have too much love for her? She says that the reason she doesn't want to see me that often is because we talk to much or something. I was thinking that maybe she was right and that I should only talk to her when she calls or when she wants to. She was also talking about just the two of us going out hitting the country when we get more money and to tell you the truth I can't wait. I've an appointment with Voc. Rehab to get me into a good job starting out to get where I want to get into as for a career deal. I'll most likely be starting at 10 dollars an hour or more. With that going we'd be able to head out. Also my father is going to be leaving us to go to oregon but he is giving me 2 thousand dollars before he leaves. I kind of wish every one could feel the love that my beloved and I feel. Then there would be no war, no fights, just peace and serenity. However, it don't go like that. I've been trying to keep on gaia but it's been knd of hard. I was also asked what I would do if I knocked my beloved up. Well, to be honest I would step up and be a father. I've had experience with babies and younger kids through my neace and nephew and I was good with them. I kind of wish I could have kept them because now the state of oregon has them due to their dumb parents. Anyways, even if my beloved can't have children I'd be glad to adopt if we had to. I'd work soo damn hard for her and the kid(s). I'd also like to get my poetry published or something like that or start writing songs and start a band. Maybe having my beloved sing, her voice is that of an Angel. I just love almost everything about her, except that she don't want to see me that often. I envy so many people, expecially my friends that have girl friends. The reason being is because they get to see their girls atleast three times a week. Not being with my beloved just makes me feel kind of lost, you know like I'm all alone with no one to help me. I've always been helping everyone and trying to make everyone else happy thinking it would pay off soon, you know like kharma. However it hasn't yet, but that just makes me want to work harder. I've been working hard as it is, but maybe I need to work harder. I feel as though I've worked hard enough but I don't see it like that. I just don't know. I'd love to be with my be with my beloved forever if I had a choice. I really miss her. I wish I could have more time with her... Anyways, thats it for now. Heaven is Love. Peace.


May the Gods bless you all with great fortunes.