There are exactly 365 days in a year, there are exactly 0 feelings in my mind, there are exactly 72 stitches on my legs, there are exactly 1,000,000 pieces of my broken heart on the ground.
Why did I love? - Because I'm an idiot...
Why did I want? - Because I can't have....
Why did I nearly kill myself? - Because I can't take anymore.
Why did I (not meaning to.. really) dive a knife all the way down my leg? - Because I had no one to love.
Because I dropped the knife I held... because I was trying to ease the pain by crying.
I am safe from my father, safe from people who wish harm to me, but I am not safe from myself.
My heart is gone, my leg hurt... my head has a neighbor... the gun.
Should I pull the trigger and get it over with?
No... I can't... Should I cut my wrists? Yea... but I won't...
It would be too much for Ashley and her family... she's my gaian sister I can't do that to her..
Must take the beating I am forced to live....
Was I an idiot to post the looking for a in forums? YES!
Is it normal to have no feeling of pain from a wound? Is it normal to feel dizzy and careless? Is it normal to want to die? No... none of that...
Forever in darkness,
Nick..
View User's Journal
lol
 |
