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Bought her a Wii.
She had told me about how much she enjoyed playing it, and told me here and there that she wanted one, and how good it would be if she had one.
Could it be? Was this finally a chance that I couldn't fail, to finally make my girlfriend happy (without sex)?
In dollars it cost about $260, because it came with three games, and some extra tools, but the thought of seeing her happy was worth far more.

For the first half hour it made her cry.
Then she complained about how guilty it made her feel, and how I would somehow bring up the Wii to subdue her into some kind of slavery.
Then she got mad and threw the instruction booklets, a controller and a game on the floor. (I'm glad the controller was in its protective casing.)
Then she told me that I didn't care about her, and that all I cared about was the Wii.
Then she completely stopped making any kind of sense.
Then we almost came to blows. (She charged me, and then wanted me to hit her because she thought I wanted to.)
I finally figured out that I was supposed to make her food and force feed it to her in some kind of food rape.
Then later on, I found her in the bathtub, trying to drown herself.
Then she once again refused to seek therapy, because apparently I had bigger mental issues than her.

I fail, yet again.
This "girlfriend" stuff is really hard.
At least her sister is sane: "You can't be mad at him for buying you a Wii."
"Yes, I can.", she replied.
Yes, she could.
It must be hard being a woman,
being oppressed by The Man every single day.
I'm such a bully.
I walked her dog, I did her laundry, I took a ride to town to buy supplies AND a Wii, and I still somehow find time to bully and oppress her.
...and be lazy too, because while I was walking her dog, I was somehow supposed to find time to vacuum too.