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So I've lost interest in the computer. Wich is strange only because everyone is into the computer. yet i'm such a noncomformist. I suppose that's why Sarah thinks I'm cute. Anyways, I just come home from school(Which is starting to suck witht he holidays comeing up) and i just go to bed. I'm always exhausted! Either I'm really really tired or I'm really really hyper and don't sleep for three days. I thought I was bipolar, but those people are supposedly sex addicts. If there's one thing I'm really not into, it's sex. Bodily fluids...ew.

Moving on, I'm going out for the school musical. Grease to be more specific. I'm not doing it because I'm a good singer or acting is just all that in my world, but because I want my mother to be proud of me. I want her to realize I'm her child again. I know that sounds weird, but ever since the corss country incident, I feel like she's just some step in for my mother...or worse, I'm a step in for her daughter. Anyways, it's not going so well, as my mother isn't even going to my tryouts. Somethign to do with church. Uhg. If there was a meeting on the play itself she'd probably miss it. I don't even know if I'll get the part, because I get horrible stage fright and the two senior chorus stars are going out for the same part. Did I meantion it was the lead? That's probably important.

I don't think my mother realizes just how much fo what I do is for her. I made this art project,a dn I was explaining its symbolism, and I mentioned that my mother was the inspiration. Everyone thought that was 'cute.' Not what i was going for, but that's how it turned out. Mother saw it the day before I took it back to school. She just thought it was 'weird.' I think that's what i was going for.