A strange girl with a weak smile looks up at you, the mist of old tears and a dreamy look in her eyes. She sits just long enough to say. . .
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First journal entry. Hi5, rite?
Anyway, let me rant on about crap you really don't care about.
Did you guys know that, in Greek Mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and one head with two faces on it? Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other half. Eh heh... Romance in a nut shell for you... But this is what's on my mind ;D I know, I know, not the most plausible theory to convey, but whatever. I think it's kind of... Sweet?... Pleasant?... Creepy? Mehhhhh. Meaning of life is a pervasive theme in daily thought process for most people. I don't know why, it's frustrating and does not, nor will it ever have, a definite answer. Yet still, we must know. My perception is that life sucks, it will never mean anything. It's not worth living, but it's not worth ending it, so you might as well stick around and piss a few people off. And oh god, here's my journal from the other day that I posted in Furaffinity;
Kuhwaylulz@FA I haven't gotten... Anything done...
I lack the motivation. What I once saw priorities are now just kind of there. Aidunno. My books are full of half-done s**t. The thing is, it doesn't take much to finish them. I just need to get better references, which, shouldn't take long at all. Maybe an hour or so. I've heard of some people who get emodepressed and have AMAZING art. I'm just the opposite. I can't even bring myself to work.
Last night I did something horribly dumb. ******** if I'm writing down the details, just saying this bit here for reference.
I'm starting to realise that you can't have your hopes dropped if you never have any. It's hard. Especially when you've known the perfect life for any period of time. To lose that control, that constant security is just .____________________.
I might have to do something drastic soon D: Y'know, if you no longer have to look forward to something, you can't have your expectations dropped. I guess it would be better off that way? It's just that I should never have to feel like a nuisance in my own territory.
Not the best frame of mind, I know. I just can't help feeling like that sometimes though... I don't understand it. I can be so happy one second and completely sad the next. ((WONDER WHY? Manic Depressant b***h...)) I'm truly trying to be positive. It's just hard. Don't judge me Gaia, I know it's all so cliche' and extremely unsincere sounding, but most days I can't help from just balling up and crying. Well, not that much, of course. Melodramatic^9001, wooooo! Point being, I'm slightly in an emo phase right now, ignore me <3 If anyone actually cares, I'll be posting a bit more o: Hopefully on a positive tone though :3 So, keep looking?
~Kiwi
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Before she gets up and walks away, waiting for you to follow her lead.
Kuhwaylulz · Wed Jan 20, 2010 @ 01:18am · 1 Comments |