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Just I dreamt about Alexandra.
This time it wasn't a nightmare.
I don't know why it wasn't - I just felt calm.
Perhaps it was because I didn't actually see her.
Perhaps it was because I can handle psychopaths better now.
Still, I've only slept 7 hours, it's 4 am, and I can't go back to sleep.
To NOT feel scared of psychopaths is something that bothers me as well.

Learning to appreciate psychopaths who has sexually abused you, is hard, but without her I would be completely clueless about the world. She taught me about my limitations, about a side of rape I didn't know existed, and about the frail loyalties of the people I mistook for friends.

She certainly doesn't belong in a perfect world, and that's the best lesson of all: That she breaks so many charades. She'd be in a mental institution in a perfect world, looking pretty and being charming far away from people she could seduce and exploit.

...but why blame the rain for falling? The blame should really fall on our society for not being able to handle women in general. (Not all of them tries to rape you, but that's just a symptom of the underlying problem.)

I don't think there would be a society if it wasn't flawed beyond belief, though. That's kind of what a society is: An escape from reality.