Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

My heart is beating a million miles a minute
I can't think I can't breath its like being ripped in half all over again.
Never thought I'd be so disorganized when it came to my own thoughts, my own feelings.
Its like burning a constant hole inside my head
I can't express myself where I am
I am trapped inside my own head and I can't get out
I can't even begin to tell you the tales of my woes and sorrows.

All at once i am every emotion I've ever felt, I am confused, I am scared, I am in love, I am lost, I am depressed, I am angry, I am tried, I am in pain, I am hurt and I am lonely.
No one understands me, my pain.
I can't explain it but I know down within the depths of my soul not one person knows how I feel.
No one has gone through the same experinces I have.

In all honesty I feel like giving in.
I can't breath without feeling the pain of taking in air.
My angers come out at the worst times and I explode on the wrong people
I am passive towards people I should hate, and I am dispassionate towards people who are my family...my everything my motivation to keep going....yet now I am feeling like i am falling down a deep well that I'll continue to fall down in, forever, its a lonely road to take....but I'd rather take it then have people know how much I suffer my suffering causes others pain and if I cause them pain from myself I'd rather live in quiet suffering then have it known again...its just too much to bare on my own.

I am so cowardly I can't even tell how i am feeling to the one I love.
I look into the tunnles i've come out of and all the dark times overwhelm me.
I never make the right decsiosn ans I am still caught in the same ways.
"And how do you know which way the wind blows? Cuz' I can feel it all around and I am lost between the sounds."


"When will we sing a new song? When we sing a new song?" the record's broken and I am lost. " Think the hardest part is lettin it go."
Hold me tight and keep me close I am slipping off that dark edge and I don't think I'll come back from it this time if you don't hold me, kiss away my tears of pain and my cries of sorrow, ease my soul's ache and sooth my heart's pain.