Just little quotes I've found and realized, every part of it is true.
In an Atomic War, every man will be cremated equal.
It is better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, someone tosses you a shovel.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a few car payments.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
The remarkable thing about like: No matter how bad it gets, it'll always get worse.
People are never satisfied to succede, other must fail.
If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, you've ******** up.
Remember, it takes 42 muscle to frown, but only 4 to properly pull the trigger.
Phychology is the study of everybody's bullshit.
In the land of the blind, the man with one eye will be stoned to death; Just because it's unprobable, doesn't mean it's impossible.
They say every hour you spend exercising is another hour you add onto your life. What point is there in that?
"I see!" says the blind man as he pisses into a fan. "It all comes back to me now."
Friends come and friend go, but enemies accumulate.
"Bless the children, for the National Debt is their's!" - Herbert Hoover
Lottery- A tax on people who are bad at math.
Memorize quotes, they are usefull in winning and ending arguments. Then again, so are semi-automatic weapons; one is used for internal affairs and kills who in external, the other is for external affairs. Which would you use?
I was born -- wait, it gets worse.
Some people are about as useful as tits on a nun.
Never miss a good chance to shut up, cause if you do, you'll forget your original alibi.
"It's a beautiful day. Now watch some a*****e ******** it up."
Handle everything like a dog: if you can't eat it or screw it, piss on it and walk away.
F-18 Hornet Attack Fighter - $50,000,000
Combat School - 1,000,000
Sidewinder - 250,000
Pushing the Wrong Button on Take-Off - Priceless.
A friend would call you a retard, but a best friend would act like one with you.
We live in the age where pizza gets to your house before the police do.
Life's journey isn't to arrive in at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy s**t... what a ride!"
A hangover lasts a day, but the memory of a drunken night with your friends lasts forever. Make them count.
My life is one of those "You had to be there" jokes.
Men - No Shirt, No Service.
Women - So Shirt, Fre Drinks!
24 hours in a day, 24 for beers in a case. Coincidence?
Well behaved women rarely ever make history.
Does any of it seem wrong to you? Give me your opinions.
Dark_Slayer276 Community Member 
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