1: Seamus Finnigan is not after my lucky charms.
2: I will not ask Luna Lovegood if her middle name is "Makes"
3: "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
4: I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
5: I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
6: I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
7: Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda.
8: Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
9: First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy.
10: I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "Time of the Month."
11: I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals.
12: I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.
13: The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
14: When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout, "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!"
15: When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
16: It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor.
17: Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental.
18: I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
19: I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends."
20: I will not dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.
21: I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
22: I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells shouting, "I got the power!"
23: I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions. (Highly inappropriate, albeit very funny.)
24: I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom.
25: Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" every time I apparate.
26: I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.
27: I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.
28: "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
29: I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."
30: I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
31: The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.
32: "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the arse" is not an acceptable Quidditch chant.
33: I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
34: I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot, gay sex will occur.
35: It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagal that she takes herself too seriously.
36: "Ya'll check this s**t out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an experimental
spell.
37: I will not say the phrase, "Dude, get a life," to Voldemort.
38: I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy. (He will take you up on it.)
39: I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.
40: Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
41: It is not advisable to ask McGonagal if "Cat got her tongue" when she is suprised
42: It is a bad idea to place a "Closed for Maintenance" sign on the Library during NEWTs
43: It is distastful to transfigure Draco Malfoys robs into a striped Gold and Crimson thong (it should be green and silver)
44: I will not tell first years that the door to Narnia is on the Third floor and to go find it.
45: I will not act like Emeril in Potions and say BAM everytime I add an ingredient.
46: I will not fight with Fleur Delacour and call it unresolved sexual tention when asked about it.
47: I will not place Muggle fairy tales in the History portion of the Library.
48: I will not call Ginny Weasley a Mary Sue behind her back, it is much more satisfying to say it to her face and getting a blank look in return.
49: I will not ask Umbridge if she is the result of an Animagus experiment gone wrong.
50: I will not string up Snape upside-down, naked, covered in red paint, and singing "I'm a little Teapot" in the hallway if he pisses me off (I'll string him upside-down, naked, covered in red paint, and singing "I'm a Little Teapot" in the Great Hall instead)
51: I will not tell Prof. McGonagal that I want to apply for a job-shadowing with Lord Voldemort... for some reason it is unacceptable career choice.
52: I will not ask Dumbledore why he has an odd facination with younger boys.
53: I will not ask Voldemort why he has a stalker obsession with a young school boy.
54: I will not ask Snape if he is related to Dracula...I would hate to insult Dracula.
55. I will not tell Ron that all the cool kids pee in the corner of the Astronomy Tower in hopes he goes mad trying to find a corner in a round tower.
Evil_4_Dummies Community Member 
|
|
