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now that i think of it...the more anguish burns in my heart...and the more fury turns into my soul...she did this to me...and she says she loves me, then how come she doesnt come back to me!!...rrrrgh!!!...I feel the darker side of me..crawling and clawing to my mind and heart..waiting to control me once again...and im filled with disgust...disgust that Amber said she did it with reason..and said she Loves me, more then ever...so do I...more then anyone..and always..but still..she doesnt come back to me.....I will stand up to myself...and ask her why...