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ON GAIA: Gambino DIED! He's dead. This is pretty awful, you guys. He was probably my favorite character too. I'm still shaken from the first time he got shot. Anyway, all your zOMG! characters are gonna look pretty stupid, constantly blaming dead ol' Gambino for the animated disasters.

Speaking of zOMG!, I still haven't beaten it. For some reason, flipping three switches at the same time in the Sealab Compound is just such a terrifying endeavor that I can never get into the boss's room before half my team quits frustratedly without saying anything. And the fact that it takes two hours just to get that far hardly makes it worth it to begin with. Oh well...

OFF GAIA: There's been a lot of goings-on, and I barely have time to write about it all, hence this entry here, now.

For starters, I went for an interview last Friday, for a summer internship at the state's utility company. An IT internship. I think I did well enough on the interview-- the guy even gave me a mini-tour on the way out. I mean that's a good sign, right? Anyway, I really, really hope I get the internship. It would be the next step toward making a career in computer science-- and away from the self-doubt that so unreasonably plagues me.

Speaking of plagues, I had several strange afflictions yesterday. I meant to write then, but I had a test to study for in Data Structures (on which I'm not sure how well I did).

For starters, there was the waking paralysis again. First time since I last wrote about it, so you (my one reader) haven't missed anything. It was pretty typical. After struggling in vain to move in any way at all for about ten seconds, I realized what was happening and just lay there, staring at the poster of Zooey Deschanel on the wall until I regained mobility.

At least once during this interval, though, I slipped back into dreams-- or perhaps very elaborate daylight hallucinations. I found myself sprawled across the wet grassy lawn in my backyard in the summer (in the same position where I lay paralyzed in my bed) and stared up at the sky. There were UFOs-- five if I remember right. They hovered awkwardly- and yet menacingly- across the sky, like black hats being thrown in slow motion. They weren't incredibly complex or ominous, but as I stared up at them, I recalled being more terrified than if I'd witnessed a murder.

The rest of the day was ripe with stomach pains (which, strangely, I had also not seen since I mentioned them in my last entry). As I studied for the afformentioned test, I became frustrated and, for some odd reason, began thinking of the apocalypse. I've always had this strange idea of the apocalypse; that some holy unifier is going to come to earth-- or come back to earth-- and in the presence of its divine grace, people will realize, without spoken words, that they have been judged. And as they look upon the great light before them, humanity will be wholly ashamed. Like the children at the end of the Lord of the Flies when the lifeboat arrives, they-- we-- will all fall to our knees and weep, realizing the gravity of our faults and condemning ourselves to shame, but we will weep together. Then, and only then, will the world become truly unified...

I always find the idea both beautiful and unbearably sad, the more I toy with it. I think last night though, it struck me in a strange place, because I became (as confirmed by both my parents, although without knowledge of the cause) unbearably upset.

I called Sandra and told her all about it. She worried for me, but then we talked about it, and I told her about it the same way I wrote about it here, and it made me feel so much better. She didn't think it was weird or anything. I am so incredibly lucky to have a girl who won't judge me for my strange pseudo-premonitions. Especially with how apparently terrified I am of judgement. I think this girl really gets me... heart

I've written all I can for now. If anything else catches my mind, I'll be sure to return to these pages.