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Chris, watch the ru-!" Leon chastised, groaning when his admonishment was cut off by a pair of hard lips against his. It was hard to not just dissolve into goo in those strong, capable hands. He cried out when he was suddenly thrown over a broad shoulder and carried into the bedroom and dropped rather unceremoniously on their bed.

"Now this is hardly romantic. It's Valentine's Day, put some effort into it!" he laughed, crossing his arms and legs, staring up at the scruffy faced man. Chris frowned at that and crossed his own arms, staring down at his lover. Both were clad in neat slacks and collared shirts, having just returned from what at least he had thought to be a very romantic dinner.

His eyes lit up when he remembered something and he grinned, a rather sly, toothy grin that made Leon a little nervous. "Be right back. I got you something and almost completely forgot about it!"

He zoomed out of the room and Leon could hear him rummaging in the freezer. Ice cream, maybe?

He shrugged and distracted himself by removing his shoes and clothing, leaving them in a neat, fastidious pile in the corner of the room. "If you don't hurry up I'll start without you!" he yelled, grinning a little when the moving of frozen items became more hurried.

Chris finally reappeared, flushed with excitement and holding a pink and purple box in his hand. He hid it from Leon until he was also naked, standing at the end of the bed with a decidedly feral look in his eyes.

"So.. What is it?" he asked after a long, awkward silence, trying to peek around him at the box.

Chris' grin grew wider and he untied the ribbon on the long, rectangular box, pulling out a-

"No. What? Where the hell did you even get something like that?" Leon spluttered, staring at what was undeniably an enormous c**k, complete with balls, made completely out of chocolate.

"I got it at the sweets store down the street. The woman there made it for me and I froze it solid to make sure it wouldn't melt too fast." Chris replied, sounding quite pleased with himself, as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

"Melt too fast for what?" the blond said slowly, the gears turning in his head before clicking into place. "Oh hell no, that is not going inside of me."

"Yes it is." Chris cackled, tackling the younger man to the bed and pinning him there, a wicked grin on his face. "I went through all this work to get it for you and to make sure it'd last until Valentine's Day! You should be happy!"

"Why the hell would I be happy that you got me a chocolate c**k to shove inside me? That's disgusting!" Leon protested, wiggling fruitlessly beneath the larger, stronger man.

"That's what you're saying now, but wait until after you've enjoyed it some." Chris cooed, licking at the tip of the chocolate, moistening it ever so slightly. He'd made sure to get one that wasn't too thick, since lubing up the chocolate would ruin the taste, but it was at least ten inches long and he was rather proud of it, actually.. Like it was some sort of b*****d child of his own c**k.

Leon cried out when he felt the ice cold head against his entrance, fighting against the impossibly strong grip on his wrists, pinned at the small of his back. "I'll get you for this!" he growled, the noise elongating and turning into a squeal as the treat slid inside of him in one smooth, easy thrust. There was a faint twinge of pain, instantly numbed by the freezing chocolate, and then Leon couldn't deny that his body enjoyed being penetrated by whatever, it seemed. Just last week Chris had tossed him into bed and had taken him with one of the cucumbers that had been set out for dinner. He didn't know whether this was because the man had a fetish for food or if he just enjoyed humiliating Leon from getting off at the act of being ******** with a vegetable.

"You.. Are.. A.. Bastarddddd...." Leon groaned, his body involuntarily rocking with the thrusts of the rapidly melting chocolate dessert.

"Uh-huh." Chris replied, leaning down to lick at the chocolate that dribbled from the man's entrance. Since it was clear Leon was no longer going to try and escape he released his wrists and slid the hand between his legs to stroke at his c**k, almost painfully aroused at the sight before him.

"Have I told you how exquisite you look down here when there's something inside of you?" he purred, earning a dark blush from the other, his long hair plastered to his sweaty skin.

"O-Only every time... you do this to me..." came the panted reply, small hands clutching at the pillow on either side of his head, shuddering as waves of pleasure shot up his spine. He could feel the melting chocolate inside of him, squishing around as the handmade d***o got smaller and smaller, the thrusts becoming faster and deeper in an attempt to bring him off soon.

A faint shift and then Leon was moaning deliriously with pleasure, the remaining five inches of chocolate slamming against his prostate with each rough thrust, twisting and writhing beneath Chris. A hoarse scream escape him and he was coming, his essence shooting out in thick, sticky ropes to spatter the bedspread, body arched and taut before he collapsed in his own seed, weak but wonderfully sated.

Not to mention, very sticky..

He heard a deep, rumbling moan from behind him and warmth sprayed his a** and thighs, making him groan softly at the sensation. The full weight of his lover collapsed on him and he could feel the smug grin on Chris' face burning into the back of his skull.

"That was gross. Never do that again." Leon grunted, elbowing the heavy man and rolling sideways, grimacing at the chocolate mess that covered his a**, thighs, back and a good part of his bed, as well. Not to mention the smears on Chris' hands and mouth, dribbles of the gooey treat down his chin and throat.

"You and I both know that looks like something completely different. And it's disgusting. You are a sick, sick man and you need help." he sighed, wincing when the remains of the chocolate c**k fell out of him and landed on the floor. "Take me to the shower. Now!"

Chris pouted but did as he was told, gathering Leon up in his arms and carrying him towards the bathroom. He stood him up in the shower and closed the door behind him, turning on the spray jet to clean the mess of his lover's alabaster skin.

"Did you at least enjoy yourself? Even a little bit?" he asked, sounding dejected. Leon opened his mouth to say no and then relented, smiling wryly and kissing the man's chocolate covered mouth.

"I guess I did." Leon admitted sheepishly, yelping when a finger slid into him to get the chocolate out of his body. "Only a little bit, though!" he added, poking Chris in the side.

"I'll keep that in mind for next year, then." the elder man purred, running his finger down Leon's cheek to leave a smear of chocolate on it.

Leon grinned dangerously and stole the shower head, spraying Chris in the face with it. "Not and live, Chris Redfield. Not and live."