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okay? so how am I supposed to take this s**t? really though, hes like me bestie friend and we hung out all day everyday, we got along so perfectly and then all of a sudden he doesnt like me?,,, its not like he was drunk through that weekend, he was the second night but not the first and last...
and... idk...
it hurts to know that he liked me than just stopped. like what did I do wrong, how, when? is there any way I can fix this? and now our friendship is weird and ... idk. we were so close and junk now all of a sudden he barely talks to me and ...
erg. idk. this is bull.
I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG!!!!

its so not fair that he's able to get over me and not care at all what happened between us and all that crap, and yet I cant get over him even a little bit. this is crap, fer srsly. gah!!! and I did honestly get over him that last time- or so I thought-
It wasnt even just angry not wanting to see him anymore or anything like that s**t, I was honestly happy and content and didnt care that he didnt like me and I would probably never see him again. and now here I am all sad and depressed again because I wont see him at graduation and I honestly thought I would have that one last time...
crying no fair.
what is so wrong with me? He's fecked ryann, and come on, she is fat and nasty and has teeth goin every which-way all gross and junk, and then she's all splotchey and nasty-like. grr.

its not fair though, why isnt he talking to me? is he honestly that busy? really I mean yeah he has a job and junk, but is it realsies because I didnt text him fer that like... month? was it really that long, no it was like... a couple weeks. but still.
I texted him a couple times, and I told him I still wanted to be his friend, but everytime he said something all cute like to me I would be retarded and take it in a 'he likes me!' sorta way and that wasnt fair to him and was killing and driving me crazy. so I had to take a break. fer srsly.
okay so I really dont want to lose him. I mean yea ive already lost him technically since we live like a million miles away and junk, but I dont wanna lose meh talking to him, even as a friend. especially as a friend. I mean s**t, I lovers him as a friend first. I really do miss him so much, I cant stand the idea that I will never see his stupid smile again, and im not gonna be able to get a hug, and that stupid weird gnug sound he does and ... gah! when he played with meh hair, it was just so sexi, his tummy and back, mmm..and his kisses

gorramit okay I have to stop now or ima cry again... i love him. dammit, i honestly do. I cant help it he was just so... perfect. I still cant see his flaws and I really know I should. I mean everyone has them. Ive seen em before obviously....
but I cant actually care when he's so beautiful and sweet and were so perfect. I mean we have the same feckin tweaks and all that s**t, we like the same s**t and were just so... meant.

and its over. never to be again. never to be at all.