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The Burning Bridge
How do I fix this? I am a man who has spent much of his life with a sexual attraction to both men and women. As a Christian...no, more simply as a follower of God, I chose not to fulfill the attraction for guys.
The problem is that up until this point I've been embracing my gay self for a very long time, long enough that in order to do what I know God wants from me, I have to cut off a lot of pleasurable habits and close, intimate friendships.
In order to cure myself of the habit of embracing my gay self, for a time I've had to cut off contact with my gay friends here and irl. When that time's over, I'll come back. I've promised it several times already.
When I come back, I want a strictly platonic relationship with all of you. In case you don't know what platonic means, it's a fancy way of saying "non-romantic" and "non-sexual." That means I'm not someone to share porn with, I'm not someone to do sexual roleplay with, I'm not someone to flirt with, and I'm not someone you can date. Ever.
That's as much a reminder to myself as it is a notice to you. If none of these was an issue between you and me, than don't take this personally. If any of these did happen between us, please don't take it so personally anyway.
I'm on a spiritual journey to figure out who I am. Now that I'm out of school and still have a few weeks left before I go back to work, I have the time necessary to figure out who I am and what I want out of life. What little I do know for sure is that there is a God, that He loves me, and that He has a standard of living He wants to help me live up to.
Please...give me until the end of this month. Once that's up, I'm personally going to go to each of you to unlock and re-open the bridge that links us. Please don't burn it. That's not what I want. I care about all of you, my friends. I care more than you realize. I swear I'm not saying that to brag. I'm saying that to try to help you see that it's true! That I mean it when I say to someone, "I love you."
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