Why is it so hard to get any sort of affection from my parents? I shouldn't want it, I'm 19 years old...I'm legally a woman not a kid anymore. I mean, I'm sick as a dog, I have to get surgery to make the pain go away and then I become easily discarded when my sister flashes her card to my father to get his attention away.
She buys him some piece of s**t bag he wants and now you can't say ANYTHING remotely bad about her without getting your head chewed off and called a "********".
To make matters worse, I can't have anything but vegetables and skim milk. These bastards are parading around buying pizzas, burgers, chips, sodas and pies. What the hell kind of support is that? I'd understand buying it then eating it when I'm NOT around, but they do it right infront of me knowing I'm gonna want it.
That doesn't bother me as much as my father's ability to hurt us by playing favorites right in plain sight. It'll always be that way I guess...atleast until I get money to spend on him. Which I won't. I refuse to "buy" his love like everyone else does.
Then mom yells at me and says being disrespectful will get me nowhere fast, despite all my father's done to once again make me feel like the worst person in the universe. Why am I still here? Why do i give a crap about people that stop giving a crap about me once they don't get their way with me?
I'm beginning to care less if he or anyone came to the hospital with me....well maybe Nick, if there's anyone I can depend on anymore it's probably him and obviously God since I can only rely on Him to help me make it through.
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D8
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Clarissa Crossette-Gahn
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