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Okay, So I told a lot you you I will let you know whats up.

For the record I lived with my mom in Slidell and I MOVED to Mississippi.

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010
My mom for days has been talking about me in the other room where I can hear her but not to my face. So has my aunt. Somehow.... This s**t got moved to facebook. ON THE INTERNET THEY WERE ******** BASHING ME. -.-; I snapped. My bff was on the phone she was heading over to come and get me. I wasn't in my right mindset I was MOST DEFINITELY going to kill myself. I couldn't breathe I was crying so hard. I tried to walk.... I couldn't do that. I was starting to hyperventilate.

I grabbed my suitcases and I said I dunno where the ******** I'm a go or wtf I'll end up but I can not stay here anymore. I'd rather live on the street then live here. So I left with my best friend to Mississippi.

Note: I am NORMAL. I Am not emo or Gothic or have mental issues or illnesses.

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

Still feeling some side effects from the stressful day of yesterday I couldn't smile much. I felt like my whole family disowned me. Me and my dad don't have a relationship my brother won't acknowledge my existence because I'm 21 and not successful as him. u.u; My mom never understood me and she never will.... we have a rocky relationship and always will.... my aunt the only one I trusted left Slandered me on effing face book for all her christian friends to see. I was completely embarrassed.

I cried often wondering what am I going to do? Where am I going to go? Who do I have left to turn too!

Then my mom calls to tell me a friend of mine has 2 weeks to live.

Friday, June 25th, 2010

My mother called to tell me Never mind... he only has 3 days to live. We set aside our differences and she picked me up. I went to go see him and right as I did I ran out of the house and I broke down. I have never seen him in such bad shape, He was in a coma state. He had no energy to open his eyes and his hand flopped around as bad as a fish. He could hear you he just couldn't reply back.

I cried and then locked it up and went back in I had to go tell him I loved him and I will always remember him. So I went in there and I told him I loved him and he had to get better so we can have more Hurricane Parties.

Then I was rushed out.

Saturday, June 26th, 2010

I was still in slidell visiting a sis-in-law. We played a sorta type of D n D and while we were playing my mom called crying and she said he was going to die today. I was like mom are you staying with him till he dies and she said yes. I said call me when he does. 1 hour an a half we went swimming. We were passing the blown up beach ball to each other while skinny dipping. My sis's phone ringed and I answer and I started crying. I hung up and sat down on the steps and was comforted by my adopted sisters.(My best friend and me sis-in-law) He died.

Sunday, June 27th, 2010

I went home back to Mississippi last night cause its the boys birthday. In this house lives a mom, dad, 2 sisters, 1 of their husband and 3 kids. Three kids meaning 2 boys and one girl. Oh and my sissy's bf XD)) Anyways.... It the boys birthday today. I got to see old family I haven't seen in a LONG time. That was all nice and special but I still all the previous bullshit still on my shoulders and help weighing it down was losing a friend.

Monday, June 28th, 2010

I came back home to Slidell and I packed the whole day. All my stuff into boxes.u.u; I'm still not done XD. Then i got onto the computer. I hooked it up and I was like OMG ILL BE ABLE TO TALK TO MY GAIAN FRIENDS NOW AND MAKE A s**t LOAD OF MONIES FOR WHITE INKS FOR MY QUEST. So I turn my computer on and my internet wouldn't hook up. WTF! So I called Charter and they hooked me up again YAY I GOT INTERNET. So I'm playing zOMG and im with friends and then my computer started acting extra laggy...more laggy than usual so I tell my friends hey i gotta reboot I'll talk to yall in a sec. I have been looking forward to this cause since I moved in with my best friend I couldn't get internet and her pc is too old and too slow for zOMG. So I was super excited. So I reboot and WHAT THE ******** DO YA KNOW I CAUGHT A ******** VIRUS. And not any virus this one wont even let me log onto my ******** computer. Then I tried to sleep but I couldn't every time I closed my eyes I saw his face and how sick he was. I Stayed up for a long time but never got out of bed.

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

I woke up eventually and stayed in bed the whole day again too depressed. Around 4 pm I got ready for the Eclipse Premiere my bf bought tickets too....

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

It was awesome but My bf's sister and brother gave me a headache due to their uber loudness and biostriousness. My feet have blisters 8D and the blue rhaspberry icee made me sick......

On a better not I got a free book and a bella and edward cups. I hate bella and edward but I love the movies so I kept the cups.

Then I asked mom when the funeral was.

Thursday, July 1st, 2010

I was okay till we got there. Me and sissy sat on the couch reminiscing for 2 hours. She was thirsty so I went into the room to ask my mom if we can go get a drink. She handed me the money and as I looked up i saw the casket and his face. It took EVERYTHING it had in me to turn around and walk out without crying. I got us a coke and sat back down beside her.Then my mom wanted me to go in the room with her to watch the clips of him. Then I cried. What was actually hours felt like minutes. I watch the video reply and reply and reply and still I kept crying. i have cried previous days before but I always forced myself to stop. This time I didn't stop. I went up and all I could say was I love you. Then I went up again for Heather and another time for my sissy. * pm came and the preacher started. I couldn't stop crying. It was like he's still here. He hasn't left.... but he's dead. It really hurts cause he was really close to me. I'm going to miss the s**t out of him.

To top it off the preacher was one of the ones that said all you have to do is believe in god. I <3ed him. He made me feel great well... actually he made me feel lost. But after talking it over with sissy it made me feel better and relieved. I went to go see him one last time before the casket closed and I was completely alone. No one else was in there. It was after ppl had put their roses in which made him look so beautiful, so at peace. With his country music playing in the back ground I walked out smiling feeling at peace. Then I sat down by sissy. Me and here were chilling in the other room sipping coke cause the service has ended. Everyone was talking and will be for an hour so we hung out. I told her how peaceful he looked and she went to go see. She wanted me to go with her so I did. She went and we saw. She looked at me and grinned. We walked out again smiling.

And although.... at the moment as I am typing this to let u know how my week of hell went.... I am crying..... Yeah i am glad he isnt suffering and yeah I am glad hes moved on to a better place but He did pass away and it is still hitting me.

After note: I also stayed to help my other best friend out... Heather. It was her dad and she was my 2nd child hood best friend I knew them for years. He was close to me.

So i apologize if I haven't been on much. I no don't have my computer nad my sis's computer is used by 3 ppl. So I don't have much time.

But soon we are supposed to be moving. And I will have a job. So i'll get my computer fixed and we'll have internet. Thank you for reading and I hope to see you soon.

<3 always.... moi

Any questions ask me.