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This morning. I felt my spirit want to sing and praise God, my Lord and Savior.


Now, I feel like wanting to throw up. I feel disgusting, filthy, I just want to cut out the parts of me that I don't want. I feel distant. I feel alone. I lost so much . . . . .

I found out somethings, that I thought I knew but I didn't. But now that I know . . .

I want to leave forever, but I can't. I'm still here. Still typing. Still watching. Still reading. Still being emotionaly attached. . .

Why did I come back? Why did I do what I did? I can't regret, bc I don't want to become more distant. I don't know what to do. I'm lost. I'm lost.


The pit of my stomach hurts. I have to keep my promise. I have to stay.

I need strong hands to lead me.

Strong hands to guide me.

Strong hands to protect and love me.

'Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me, hungry for Love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me your willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we, call this our home
But I still feel Alone'. (lead -Sanctus Real)