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Entry #8: A Secret Revealed
This is Fluffy signing in.
Hey-Hey-Heya! ~♪ Fluffy here! this is now my eighth entry in here! well, i decided to go over my past entries, just to make sure there are no typos of grammatical errors... and i might make a few small edits to them... they aren't really worth another look at, but if you want, go ahead and reread them! smile
today is 8/30/2010... it is 8:56 pm... and i feel like revealing a deep dark secret... ill think about it as i write this entry...
today started off like any other school day... wake up in the moring (feeling like going back to sleep...) and get ready to go change. but today was a little different cuz my eyes were really puffy this morning. i told my mom it was allergies, so she told me not to wear my contacts today... sad i had to wear my glasses... i'm not really used to wearing them anymore...
so i went to get my clothes, and i noticed the sky was a bit cloudy today, so i wore a somewhat-plain purple t-shirt, jeans and my signature jacket. i had to dig through a pile of junk to find my glasses though... razz finally, i put on my pretty new pendant.
next, i went downstairs to go get some breakfast; a small roll of bread with cheese and a glass of warm milk. i could only take a few bites of bread before i noticed it was starting to get late... so i chugged my glass of milk, grabbed my flute, textbook and bag, put on my usual blue sneakers and headed out the door.
it was a usual day on the bus too. just me waiting for the bus, getting on the bus, then heading to the next stop. then we went to go pick up the kids on the third stop, where Adam and Austin were. when they boarded the bus, i noticed they had some posters with them. when Adam sat next to me, i asked him about it and he said that it was a project due for APES (AP Environmental Science). i also texted my friend Andy while i was on the bus.
then we all got off the bus. we were kinda late, so right after i took a step off the bus, the bell rang! sad i didn't have that far to go though... Mr. Subbiah's room isn't very far.
i got into the classroom. i looked for my usual spot with the colorgaurd, but it had been taken up by another kid. gonk i was gonna go find a new seat, but one of the gaurd members gave me hers! biggrin i felt kinda bad about it though... sad we did the usual warm-ups, worked on our own, then waited for the bell to ring.
once the bell rang, it was time to go to boring ol' homeroom... whoooooo... [/monotone] didn't do nuttin' much... all our homeroom teacher did was talk about sports... -sniffles- i miss Mrs. Thompson... crying
then it was time to head to Filipino. we had to present our poster that had the quote my group and i picked. we showed everyone our poster, had the class repeat back our quote, we explained what it meant, why we picked it, and an example to support the quote. after everyone had presented, we had to go find our 12 o' clock partner (mine is Kim) and interview them in Filipino.
then it was lunch time! 4laugh i sat down with my group, handed out some blue raspberry licorice that i had in my bagpack, then went off to get lunch. i got a regular old chicken patty sandwich and ate a couple bites outta it before the bell rang.
it was time for band! we did some music rehearsal today. (non-marching band peoples: you may skip the rest of this paragraph if you wanna) apparently, the music for our march got edited slightly, so we had to go over it again. then after i bit of music, we went over pyware (where we get our drill) and smartmusic (where we go when we need some extra help on our music).
after we were finished, we all packed up. when i packed up and most of the bandos were out of the band room, i noticed Adam's poster for APES lying on the floor! eek he's supposed to turn that in for fourth period! i took it and ran out the band room to try to find him. after a few minutes of unsuccesful searching, i decided to head back to the band room to see if he head back there to find it. i was right, so i handed Adam his poster and we made a mad dash for our classrooms. mine was a bit closer than his, so i wasn't too late for APEC. phew... sweatdrop
APEC started with a small 10 questions test about the things we talked about on Friday. but the scantron i used wasn't really a scantron! when i went up to Mr. Casas to hand him my test, he told me to put it in front of the camera that was on the computer in front of him! i was a little confussed, but i did it anyways. then the camera made a sound, and my test results showed up on the computer! eek it was soooooooo kewl! xd i missed 2 of the 10; that meant i got a B... not that bad! biggrin the we talked about the Renaissance for the rest of the period.
then school was over. when i got on the bus with Adam, i just looked out the window for a bit. i thought about today and how fast it went by. i thought about everyone who saw my pendant for the first time and the expressions on their faces when i told them it cost over $100! xd (no, i didn't buy it. my mom got it as a gift for my sister, but she didn't want it so she gave it to me! 4laugh ) then i thought about my friends and when i gave them the licorice today... it made them all smile, and seeing them smile makes me happy. smile then i looked at my phone and thought about Zac and i started to cry a little... (ive been texting him all day today... we're kinda going through a relationship bump... sad ) then i looked at my hands randomly... the rope burns that i got from band camp got worse... maybe i should take a picture and show them to you guys...
finally the bus came to my stop, and i got off the bus. i got home, had some chocolate mousse cheesecake, and worked on my homework a bit. some time after i got home, this guy is at our door. he says he needs to measure all the windows in our house (idk why he needs to do that though... stare ). my gramma told me to watch (*coughstalkcough*) him to make sure he didn't do anything "suspicious" rolleyes until my parents got home. ive still been texting Zac the whole time this was happening. we got over the little relationship bump... well, at least i think we did... confused
after the dude left, it was time for dinner. it was leftovers from yesterday's lunch. i took a few small scoops of rice, some small scoops of pancit, and small bits of barbaque. it ate most of it, then had some mangos!!! mrgreen yays! my second fave fruit! i got really full after that though... X.x
remember in my last entry how i mentioned the glasses my mom got? well, she needed me to count them up with her... gonk it took some time, but we finally finished counting and sorting them... all 164 pairs... xp then i finally got the chance to go on the computer! 4laugh
while on the computer, i snuck in 2 episodes of Chobits as i wrote up this entry... i also asked my friends if i should reveal the dark secret i mentioned a while ago... most of them said that if it would help me lift a burden off my chest, i should let just come out with it and say it... even though not everyone is gonna see it... so i decided to post it...
the secret: a lot of my friends in real life always wonder how i always have so much energy... i tell them its because i just love being happy. that isn't the whole truth... i'm always energetic because i knew, that if i wasn't happy and energetic for even a minute, my suicidal thoughts would come back to me... being with my friends, having fun, being happy all the time... they all distract me from all my depressing thoughts and my thoughts of suicide... it works for the time being, but i don't know for how long... thats why i hate to be ignored and hated... cuz i know that if i had no one there for me, i would be scared... scared that i would feel so lonely, i would really kill myself... thats why i always try to look forward to a new day... make everyday better than the last... try to distract myself, ya know?
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...well, i kinda feel better now... if any of you guys out there (that actually read this thing) want to talk to me about it, please PM instead of comment... thankies...
well, thats a bit of a depressing way to end an entry at 10:41 pm... but, i feel a little better knowing i don't have to hide this secret anymore... smile see yall next time!
This is Fluffy signing out.
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