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Okay so I am answering a questionnaire about myself and i am on Number 59.

59. I bargain to resolve conflict.

So..... Before I moved out of my moms house and I moved here I didn't. I kept to how I felt. But I was sorta confused on the question so I asked my best friend/sister and my other roommate who is a friend. They said Yeah, you do! I was like but what about when I moved in from day one. They said no, you always stood your ground.

The way Sakura said it was like its sad but no your not like who you used to be and the way Elle answered was like yeah, your not being yourself anymore...

-SIGH- I am trying to stop standing my ground to make a better happier life for myself and the house. I am happier this way because I dont have to deal with the whole house hating me and being pissed at me. I'd rather cut back and hold myself down and have happy environment with less stress that benefits me then be completely all of me and not take any s**t anymore.

So if I am doing so well, and I am happy about all of this and I'm satisfied then why am I on the verge of crying. Why did this affect me so bad? It isn't because I am not being myself It is because I worry and care about how people see me and how they feel and think of me. So do they think lowly of me now because I am holding back? This saddens me because I HAVE to back off.... I can not handle the stress it puts me under seriously, I just can't. I'm used to ******** up everyday and dealing with a whole 4 people avoiding me and being pissed at me and wishing I just wasn't in the room or house. I am doing what I have to do. crying