yeah, sure.... for a few minutes i might feel some relief from all the s**t that goes on in my house and at school and everywhere else.....
and it makes me realize that im not screwed up because i screwed myself up, but rather that certain people screwed me up by "hurting" me so much. . . which really sucks cuz now i know that the reason i get really angry and call rick names and what not is cuz he offends me and i dont want to feel weak and s**t. yay, so as long as rick and them dont change, im just gonna get worse. Y A Y.
counciling im sure is good for me, but it also makes me really sad because i know that i wouldnt be there if i lived with different people or at least if certain people didnt act like such assholes.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ o and ontoppa all my other s**t, my sleeping "pattern" is really bad again..... i have trouble sleeping at night on week nights, trouble wakind up on week days, trouble sleeping in on weekends, or staying up on weekends..... and i keep falling asleep after school..... yesterday for about 4 hours on our really comfy couch in our white living room.... and today on the floor of our other living room for probable 4-4 and a half ours.....
there is no way im going to pass anatomy; right now, anything i do is just going the make a difference in how low an F i get.....
i doubt there is any way im going to finish my art project by friday..... so itll either be turned in incomplete(my only real choice), look like s**t from rushing(yeah, kinda screwed up a lot of stuff today due to rushing), or id not turn it in and get a 0 on it(NO WAY IN HELL IS THAT A GOOD CHOICE)
i still hafta read 36 chapters of huckleberry finn(by tomorrow if i wanted to get caught up tonight-aint gonna happen)
i hate sports so much..... when i woke up just a lil while ago(from my nap on our floor) rick had them on..... so, i wake up and am immediately annoyed.... on toppa that, hes eating popcorn(hes the reason why i stand popcorn in the first place) and he has the volume really loud and then, once hes in the other room with greg and his friend, i get up, lie down on the couch and change the channel..... he comes in, takes the remote from me, tells me i tried to start stuff because i "saw him going for the remote and covered it with my feet" (i had put it near my feet after changing the channel only to realize that i should be holding onto it) so i start calling him names and telling him to "quit acting like an a*****e" and then begin to remember what it was that we talked about in counciling.... so i get up and start to walk away, uttering cusswords as i leave and thats when greg gets on me(hes been doing that alot lately) telling me that im "vile" and that im"trailer trash" - most likely it was kind of a joke but with greg you never know......
anywho, i was thirsty when i woke up so i got a glass of water, but in my anger i left it downstairs so now im really thirsty and cant go get a drink..... cuz im too busy being an emo over the damn a*****e......
Unni Ineo · Wed Mar 22, 2006 @ 02:38am · 3 Comments |