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"It seems that pain and regret are your best friends,
Cause everything you do leads to bad."

i just wanna write a rap about real s**t for once.
******** the bullshit about sex.
i mean i've only had sex with one guy.
and right now i'm just trying to let go of him.

is it even possible that girls really do become undeniably attached to the guy that takes it?
because i swear i was stronger than this
but looking back all the strong emotions came afterwards.

or is it just coincidental that i decided to take the final plunge afterwards?
probably so.

possibly getting a job at mission mobility.
that'll do me some good.

i feel like as of late,
the only thing i can do is stay busy to keep myself from drowning in my own head.

who knew that this was so unsafe?

and apparently i need to give myself a look in the mirror.
and digest my inner core,
but i don't think you even realize anything going on anymore.
i don't think you realize how very afraid i am of everything going on.

and that's okay.
go ahead and tell me that you haven't flown away,
but from my perspective, you really don't care enough to stay.

if i'm pushing you away,
then why don't you fight the tide for once?

all i'm asking for is a sign that you actually care.
any little thing.
but everything is too much to ask for these days, isn't it?
and sure i've got things to work on,
and i'm prepared to do them and grow up.

you say love is there,
but i can't feel it.
so show me it, for once.
don't just think that you can get away with swearing its there.
because i still need to hear it and know that you mean it.

people need to be reminded of the most obvious things,
whether you're big on saying it or not

sometimes i say i love you to people so much because i need to be reminded that i love them.

when was the last time i said it to you?
i can't recall.
it used to be a daily occurrence
and your response was as well.

to steal the words from Mr. Ocean,
there's a brick wall between us,
and the distance used to feel like a room away.
maybe i built this up,
but you are definitely lending a hand.

but perhaps, this is something i need to work on as well.
not needing you to say it.
but very few people can manage such a thing.
so please don't be angry that i have such a demanding need for you,
or for anyone i actually care about.

i'm quite scared of what's going on.
i even tried to tell you.
but you didn't even care, did you?
and that's what hurt the most.

you can swear it til the sun explodes,
but if you can't show me you still care about me
then... what? what happens?