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A Letter to Grandma

Hey there. How've you be...
Hi! Long time no see
Hey grandma, I miss you.
It's been a long time since we talked. What, three, four years now? Did I ever say sorry? Did I ever really say goodbye? No matter how many times I try I don't think I ever will be able to say it enough.
The saying "You don't know what you have until you lose it" comes to mind every single time I think of you.
I didn't realize what a loving human being you were.
Nor did I realize how much I actually loved you.
Even if I sighed and rolled my eyes when I had to go get you things. Even if I hated waiting on how slow you were forced to walk. Even though I was immature and selfish, I loved you.
I miss having you as a muse for poetry.
I miss you pushing me to write, draw, do good in school, keep my chin up, "how was volleyball?", "How was track?", "How's Riley doing? Does he like you yet?", "what are your grades? You know your mom will be disappointed if they're low. don't get grounded.". "Yes I can keep a secret. Can you?"
Oh my, I miss our silly conversations and secret transactions of money for food. XD
I'm happy I got to hold your hand. I'm not happy you had to die.

Until tomorrow.
<3 Allison