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I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that not matter how much i care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to built up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that you better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you should not compare yourself to others--they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you are finish.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy the relationship is at first,the passion fades, and there better be a whole lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that 99% of time when something is not working in your house, one of the kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

Pass this along to people. Trust me, they'll appreciate it. Who knows something good will happen..... if not.... throw s**t.