|
Just One Word
Sooo, on the way to walmart, my mother decides to inform me that my cousin had recently said something about one of my friends. Now, this makes me angry, yeah I know people can say what they want but....I am not going to put up with my family saying racist things about people I care about. He doesn't even know her, he has never met her, and he does not have any right what so ever so say anything. Hell even if he knew her he still wouldn't have the right to say a damn thing. I was so angry all the way to walmart, all I could do was smoke back to back to back and even then I didn't feel any calmer. Ugh. So I texted him like 4 seconds after maw told me, which was a few hours ago and still his a** aint replied back... But anyways so when we got into walmart, I put my head phones in and turned the music up as loud as I could, drowning out everything. Walked around, which the main reason I wanted to go to walmart and to town was because I was going to look for a valentines card while maw got some baby stuff for a baby shower. Read a million cards, some were so corny that it made me wish I made holiday and special occasions cards. I probably looked suspicious walking about looking angry with my phone in my hand occasionally switching it from my hand to my pocket but I didn't really care, I was waiting for him to text back so bad. Eventually I ended up over by the flowers of course it was filled with roses and they looked so pretty so I picked up one and it was red and white, mostly white but it was like it was outlined in red. The same moment I had it in my hands, I felt my phone go off in my pocket and i reached for it quickly, ready to cuss the hell out of my cousin, but it wasn't him. It was the friend that I just mentioned a minuet ago. I don't know how to explain it, but the anger and disgust and so many other emotions I was feeling suddenly started to subside to the back of my mind when I seen the 'one new message' with her name at the top. Now I should probably explain before yall think that I am completely overreacting or something but this isn't just a friend, well she is just a friend and nothing more but...this is one that I have started to have feelings for, the friend that makes my days so great, the friend that...I don't know, she's just important to me in a lot of ways. After maw had told me, I was just so angry, my heart was screaming at me, telling me that 'this is not okay' 'you have to say something', every part of me was telling me to defend her. I was angry for so long until I got a message from her, eventually I ended up telling her, which she said it wasn't a big deal. But it was a big deal to me, it mattered to me. Maybe it wasn't a big deal, maybe I over reacted but I couldn't just forget about it or let it slide or think it was okay in any degree. One word was all it took and it was only one word that made my day turn from okay to shitty. This happened about 4 hours ago and though i'm not so angry, I still feel disgusted with him........I don't even know, I feel so tired and I want to go to sleep and wake up, check my phone and I want this to only be some stupid dream but it isn't. Ugh, I think I have ranted enough for one night, goodnight later Gaias.
|
