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Every once in a while, I feel an overwhelming need to step out of my mind and evaluate. This will be one of such drawn out evaluations. First however, I need to layout the background that has prompted this evaluation.

I keep seeing reoccuring events happening in the social world around me. Just today, I saw someone try to drop out of my life. And as usual when anything abnormal happens, I feel the need to understand why. Perhaps it's a human thing. More so I think that it's just me.

I believe everything in this world happens for a reason. This reason doesn't need to be a good or agreeable one. It certainly isn't a divine one. The world and everything in it follows a logical pattern, and believe it or not molds are rarely broken. I'd even argue that in the case of humans, there are rules that are never broken. Now, this seems like an extreme conclusion to declare, but when you think about how the world shapes a human, they're only going to act and function with in boundries that the world has defined for them, and if not those, boundries shaped by the genetic species itself. Either way, I apply my same rules to humans as I would to everything else.

Anyone can agree, it's impossible to completely understand the actions of human beings. I refuse to believe it, even among humans the rule must follow that everything happens for an explainable reason.

I want to know, what went wrong.

Not just this time, no. I've seen such behavior before, even in myself, and I WANT TO KNOW WHY. I thought I had it figured out. Apparently I didn't, because I didn't see it coming.

I've had prior experience to such an event before, therefore the only possible reason that I couldn't have identified such action is that the reasons I had developed were false.

I think the real problem's simple, I screwed up. maybe not in the relationship, but I failed to properly understand the interactions that were taking place.

And that's what the real problem is. The problem is my own comprehension of the events that have occured around me.
What can I do to fix this?

Back to the first paragraph, it appears evident to me that I need to step out of my thoughts to understand how I perceive others peoples thoughts, before I can successfully perceive others thoughts.



The problem appears to be that this human sees too much. I think he takes in all the miscellaneous information he can, tries to furnish possible motives, and then picks the supporting evidence that follows.
Well, that's a human problem. Unfortunately it's a hard psychology to escape. But that's what I'm here for.

What can this human do better to improve his deduction methods? Well, as expressed by Sherlock Holmes, you need to form a conclusion from the evidence, not pick evidence to support a conclusion. But how exactly does one go about wading through all the data that they accumulate and find the bits that might actually mean something?

The answer seems pretty obvious, you examine the data that doesn't match. The abnormalities. But how exactly can a person define the abnormalities of a person? For all they know, those abnormalities are part of a characters normal functions. It only might seem possible to pin these abnormalities out of several years of free interaction between the two.

The problem is, how much time does a human have in their life to devote to understanding a single person? Better yet, how is that even practical? Will the other person even tolerate such a long term commitment?

It was easier for this human to get to know people back when the number of possible humans to interact with was limited, in his schooling years. Now, he's in the biggest college on this side of the state. There's people everywhere, and how on earth can you ever get the chance to understand them all?


You can't.
You just can't.


Back to myself:< There still has to be a way for me to understand people, without such an excessive amount of time attached to it. I really, really want to believe there's a way, because I can't imagine dealing with a world of such insecurity. The core problem has to be figuring out what the true person is, as soon as you meet them.
That's tricky. How do you get someone to let down their guard and spill their true self?

I haven't been able to do this much in my life, but from the times I've accomplished it, there first had to be a very personal exchange that compromises me first. People aren't going to just open up freely. You need to give them some collateral, you could call it.



And now I think I see what went wrong. I put up my wall, acted invincible. Every Damn time. I thought I was being entirely open, but the fact is I was still hiding the deepest problems that ail me every day.


But this contradicts: The last time I opened up, I opened up too far. Perhaps that was the problem? Nobody wants to deal with a walking heap of problems.

I guess the lesson here that I learned was moderation. The fact is I've hit each wall twice in my life now, with roughly 2 years in between each rebound. I think I need to hit a center though, If I'm going to truly get people to open to me so I can do my best to help them.


I'm going to keep up my confidence as I have been for this past year or so, but I can't be invincible, no. I think I need to show some human weakness.

Time to step out of myself again to see if this plan might make sense.






I can't make heads or tails of it.

The 2 extremes don't work, so he mise well give it a shot.


Conclusion: To attain personal goals, I must understand the real person. TO understand the real person, I need to get them to expose their true nature. To get them to expose their true nature, I need to be confident and open, but to be truly open I need to take off some armor.

I still don't know if that will work. The times I've shown signs of weakness, has that really been the functional part to getting someone to open up?
Errrrr. At the very least, it's a component. Just remember: The goal isn't to spill your life, it's to get them to spill theirs. Ask them questions.
Show them you care and can help.

What also seems to work which everyone says, relate to them.



That's all the thought I'm going to invest in this bugger for now. Goodnight and good luck.