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So yesterday I told my bf I wanted a break, not to break up, just a break. And he got it kind of, but then... I started thinking, thinking hard, about what had been happening, and how odd some of the mistakes, he had made, had been. Well anyways I turned to his friend, knowing that if anything off was happening, well then she was most certainly apart of it... I wasn't wrong. She apologized(bad sign) asked why(another bad sign) and then after I pushed her a little, stated they had been... doing things, outside of the boundaries of friendship. Though I've been fooled before so I didn't fully believe her, I still confronted him about it... And he uh... he didn't try to deny anything, he just apologized, explained what was going on, and let me yell my head off at him. And I suppose I should have been smart and dumped him... but call me stupid, call me insane, but I really love that jackass; and truthfully I was expecting something like this to pop up. I mean I know someone shouldn't have to, but well the way they acted; I suppose I just guessed it would be something like this. So anyways I didn't ditch him like the smart thing, but I won't be nice to him about this. He's been restricted, like the fact that I won't say 'I love you' anymore, not for a while. And I told him he better damn stop whatever he was doing with her now. And if this happens again... well I suppose I need to get a shotgun and kill a few people.




**2015 EDIT**
I should just burn red flags, since I never pay attention to them.
Also...
I forgot what I was going to say XD The song I'm listening to right now is really good at clearing my head. (American Beauty/American Psycho by Fallout Boy)
Oh. (The song has ended.)
Yeah I remember now.
I didn't love him.
I was scared to be alone, and I still am, but I'm not going to lie anymore and try to force myself to feel emotions that aren't there in hopes of keeping someone with me.