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You know. . .

Sometimes I wonder. Why the ******** can't people talk to me? Why the ******** when I ask, "what's the matter" Why the hell do they have to say "Nothing." And then it comes back through the grape vine that "nothing" was actually "SOMETHING MAJOR".

I stay at home, yes I said it, I'm 25 and live at home. I can't find work, thus can't be off living on my own. It sucks, but what can I do? Keep looking for work and hoping someone thinks I'm hire-able. That's all. ******** you if you think otherwise.

My boyfriend has a shitty job that's 40 miles from his house and he drives a gas guzzling vehicle that eats what little money he gets each paycheck if he drives to work and back to his house every day. So, it was a agreed that he could stay at our house when he has back to back work.

Given, my boyfriend has abused the ******** out of the privilege, sometimes staying up to 3 weeks or more when he hasn't had work more than a saturday and a sunday. I get that.

I don't understand why, when people are tired of him being around, and I pick up on it, they don't talk to me. It either always comes out through the grape vine or a ******** blow up. I don't ******** get it. Why can't my dad ask me directly, "how long is he going to be here?"

Why does my mom have to come in my room at random points and say "let me talk to you a moment. . . your dad wants to know how long he's going to be here"

MOTHER ******** TALK TO ME. I ******** ASKED YOU YESTERDAY. I KNEW WHAT WAS ******** WRONG, BUT WANTED YOU TO SAY SOMETHING TO ME DIRECTLY.

I don't understand, why is it so ******** hard to just ask anymore? We had blow ups in the past, but that was literally because he was being an a*****e and he knew it. So why? Why can't you ******** talk to me.

Why does it always have to resort to you not even meeting eye contact. Because that s**t ******** hurts. Why does it always have to get tense in the room. ********, you didn't even look my way or hear me when I tried to wish you happy father's day.

Why does it always end up with me feeling like this?