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October 17, 2012
Autumn
Dark Moon
I did not get to go outside and contemplate the moon. I did not get to do any meditation on the 15th either. As it happened, while I was in this wonderful state of mind, as I said on my first post, I had some things happen all at once on the 15th that caused me to lose my calm demeanor and so basically it ruined the good feelings I had going. It was surprising how angry I got over everything. So quickly too. Usually, some of the things that happened, I could have blown off. Yeah, it would have bothered me but it just really drove under my skin. Maybe because I was in such a good mood I didn't expect anything?
First thing, The Step-Fat and his chicken bones. I could have dealt with him bitching about the bones missing from the table and blaming me. He does it all the time. I blew that off and did my own thing. It bothered me because I was being blamed for something I had no control over but whatever. It's normal.
Second thing, finding out that the chicken bones were still on the table. Yeah. He came into my room and told me I had let the dog eat his chicken bones 'watch her better' blah blah blah. I went into the kitchen and they were still sitting untouched on the table. What. The. Hell. That pissed me off royally. To be blamed for something not my fault and to find out he was just doing it because he didn't actually check to see if the bones were still there and assumed that they weren't because the plate was covered.
Third thing, finding The Step-Fat's dog eating out of my dog's bowl. In my heated mood, this only made it worse. I yelled at the dog for it, and spanked her instead of just sighing and blowing it off.
Fourth thing, having to write posts when I didn't have anything to say or do with my characters. In my already angry state, this did not help it. If my characters have nothing to do with the current situation, then why the hell should I post? I can be out a few posts until I see and opening. But no. I had missed too many days already. I didn't have a choice.
Fifth thing, my great grandpa in the hospital. Yeah. Let's add that stress.
Sixth thing, my phone. I'm trying to talk to my grandma about my great grandpa and my phone cut out and lost signal six times.
So yeah, this is what happened, all in the course of maybe four hours? Maybe more. I think it may have been longer. I think I new thing happened every hour so I think this all happened in the course of six hours, five hours. So I kind of snapped. My good mood just broke. Maybe I wasn't as confident as I thought when I was typing at first. It was just so many, in so little time.
I'm going to try and look at the sky tonight, if nothing ruins my mood, and try and see if I can get my life back into order.
 dancinginshadow · Wed Oct 17, 2012 @ 02:10pm · 0 Comments |
