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1st memory

A man once dubbed this place "Purgatory". What a foolish idea, Fen had thought when she first heard of it. There were many words that she had thought of, that would accurately describe this place, some of them being "hellish", "deplorable", and "hopeless", but none of them giving the exact feeling of the word "Purgatory". After all, when she thought of Purgatory, she thought of nothingness. She thought of a being trapped in an endless stream of nothing, "waiting for goudot", and waiting for the higher beings to judge them. Those beings have one job, and that one job is to wait. But here, everyone has already been judged. This "Purgatory" was nothing short of a prison. A prison for the fallen, or for those who disobeyed the Higher Being. Here, you have been granted your sentence, and now you were carrying it out. This was a secondary hell, and so she would refer to it as such.

The night before Fen entered Hell, she was alone in her home, the beautiful place it was, writhing in her bed imagining what kind of experience lay in store for her. She was well aware when and where she would be going. Before this, she had heard many stories, ones that usually involved some kind of unbearable torture and humiliation meant to make one lose their will to live. Scores of creatures were sentenced to serve out endless punishment in that place, including unruly fallen angels, such as herself. Fen began to think about death, and how it would feel to die in a place like that.

In this world, angels were very difficult to kill, so more often than not, they would be destroyed instead. Even then, it was very difficult to destroy one, for they must lose the will to live completely. Once one is destroyed, they are no more. To be destroyed, is to no longer exist. Fen wasn't sure how death worked for other demons or ghouls, but she has heard that when one becomes a fallen, the rules are the same as the angel's rules.

Fen quickly learned in Hell, that the first thing they do to new fallen angels, is rid them of their wings. It's a sign that tells other races of what you have become, and it's meant to shame you. Within the first week of Hell, she was already torn apart. It did not take long for her to realize they were gone. Her back was raw and red, and felt utterly bare and cold. If one were to ask her to remember the pain, she probably would not answer. The pain was so great, she would no longer remember what it felt like. No, before you ask, she did not cry...for if she did, then they would win. (This poor pitiful soul had not lost the will yet.)

Fen was on her side, on the floor of a sad little cell staring at a feather now. A pile of white feathers actually, with beautiful black tips. They had once belonged to her. She studied them with utmost care. Fen had always prided herself on their soft luster and color. If there was one thing that would make her cry, it would be this. Pride is a horrible thing. She would never fly again.

Time meant nothing anymore in this place. After Fen had gone through the initiation of becoming a fallen, she had been there for what seemed like an eternity. She listened to the cries and screams of fellow fallen, and swore that a part of her there had been lost. The girl could feel it, something changing inside of her. It was either a loss of innocence or a loss of faith. She felt an unfamiliar hatred consuming all of her other emotions.

She had stayed there, not moving, with long hair acting as a curtain and covering her face. It had once been a beautiful long blonde, (again, she had been too proud) and a source of reliable angelic power, but now...it was browning. Most of the pigment and magical quality left all in the same day. In the end, it was left a horrid mess of blond and brown colors. Fen thought she looked like some abandoned mutt left out in the rain.

From the corner of the cell, she heard a groan. Imagine that, someone had been here this whole time. "Ugh..." The mystery woman groaned again, then paused, but Fen dared not stir. "Girl, will you choose death?" She asked. "Do you have hope still, child?" Fen didn't answer. She had no idea what she wanted anymore. Did it really matter?

"How does one find hope here?" Fen muttered the question, still much too tired to move, so she thought. Her face was almost buried in the dirt floor. Even so, the mystery woman seemed to have heard her, which was an amazing feat, she thought.

"It is...difficult, yes." The older woman said. Fen took this time to lift her face up a bit, and take a peek at who she was conversing with. "...but possible. You must have hope, young child." The woman spoke with great difficulty. She must have been injured badly, but it was too dark to see exactly where she was hurt. At this moment, the young fallen commanded her arms to move and to push against the soil. She lifted her torso up slowly, and dragged herself to sit by the cell wall, in front of the woman, who had propped herself up against it. A light shone into the cell and Fen caught a glimpse of her face. The woman was aged, but had a kind of motherly aura to her. She touched Fen's hair and ran her fingers through the knots.

"If one loses hope here, destruction is inevitable. But you can survive. You must have hope, young child." Fen watched her reach upwards. She could see now. This woman was borderline delirious. "You must have hope, young child."

"How long have you been here, Miss?" Fen looked down, and held the woman's other hand to let her know where she was. The light had left now.

"Too long. Too long indeed! I have not lost hope." The woman smiled. "And so I exist." Fen kept stoic. "You must have hope, young child."

The young fallen knew now why most fallen here, had given up eventually. For even if they had the blind optimism of a fool, and decided to exist, they ended up like this woman. Insane. She felt so badly for her, she wondered which was worse, destruction, or a loss of one's mind? Fen kept her company still, and slept near her as she assured her of her survival.

The next day, she found the woman had destroyed herself. She was alone yet again.

This day was strange. The first thing Fen noticed was that there were now lights shining in the halls. It was amazing. She could see her own dirty hands, as they helped her body into a sitting position. Squinting, she saw more fallen then from the other cells peering into the hall from behind their bars, and sticking their noses out like lab rats. Most of them had hair of two different colors as Fen had. Some even two different color eyes due to being blinded and beaten. There was a young boy with such eyes who stared right at her then. He had dirt smeared over his face, and there was a certain gleam of wildness in his stare. His wings had not been fully ripped from him yet, as hers had been, and so half of his left one remained. They sat staring at each other for a while, and Fen realized she must have looked to him as he looked to her. Maybe they were simply pitying each other? They broke eye contact.

"It's Anton! Anton has left to the human realm! And Felipe is dead! Dead, I tell you!" They heard a guard exclaim while another gasped. At the sound of their voices, Fen's nose wrinkled. She already hated Demigods. They were the ones who put this place in business. Reaching forward, she gripped the bars to her cell and pushed her face against them, looking for the puzzled guards.

The young boy stared in the direction of the sound, and then back at Fen. He smirked and she did too. There was such unrest among the Demigods, it was funny. Oh look, and they were heading this way. She looked back to the boy, who made a slow gesture to her, as if he was putting an imaginary being in front of him, into a headlock. Something inside her made her grin. Honestly, she liked his plan.

The guards approached and conveniently stopped with their backs to the front of their cells. Her eyes widened as she looked to the Demigod's belt. A golden ring of keys was shining at her like a beacon of this so called "hope". Fen's arms lunged through the bars like a wild animal's and locked the man's neck between her arms and the bars of the cell. She almost snarled. Fen looked to the boy who was doing something similar to what she was. He opened his mouth wide, and bit the man's neck with his peculiar sharpened teeth, ripping his flesh, and exposing a gruesome amount of blood that splattered onto his face. He reached with claws now, piercing into the man's torso until he was long gone. She had heard of some fallen developing strange features such as these, but had never seen them put to use. It sent a shiver down her spine.

Fen's attention turned back to the Demigod struggling in her grip. She was strong, She knew that now. The boy with bloodied hands motioned for her to do the same thing he had just done. But how could she? She had not developed claws and the like. Besides, her powers were null and void in this cell. She glanced downward. This man had a knife stored alongside with the key ring. She swiped both through the bars and put them to good use. Any remorse was overwhelmed by the desire to survive.

Once out of her cell, she quickly unlocked the boy's as well. He dashed out immediately, and into the hall, running up ahead. Fen rushed to follow him. She figured he must have known more about this place than she had at least. She wasn't fond of relying on him, but wouldn't have known which way to turn anyway. He led her through several passageways, and warned her when guards were approaching. Fen protected him, if a guard happened to spot them anyway. It only happened once. He said not a word, but bowed his head quickly as thanks.

Soon, they turned a corner and suddenly she was pulled aside by the boy. "TCH!" He made a noise with his teeth, and signaled for her to keep in the shadows. She looked around with desperate curiosity. This was an armory. Her heart was beating furiously at the sight of so many weapons.

"You died in vain, brother." Fen heard a voice say. A strange man spit on a Demigod's dead body, and then took his leave. How weird... She thought. Then, the figure disappeared into some shadows farther into the room. The boy grabbed her arm and pulled her aside again, behind a tall rack of weapons. Suddenly, a group of Demigods rushed in.

"FIND HIM! Find him now!" A larger man replied. "He's killed too many to walk away unscathed, you fools!" The man wore a large cloak, no doubt a sign of his status. It was probably made of some expensive material. He stood taller than any of the other Demigods, and held a tall walking staff even greater than him in size. He looked as if he were checking a watch of some sort. "Not to mention, we have two fallen unaccounted for! This is disastrous."

"Um Sir?" One of his men hesitantly spoke.

"What is it!? Spit it out, man!" The leader looked up and spoke.

"We think he may have gone to the human world."

"Then after him! I don't care which world he runs off to! The human world is easy enough to journey to anyway! Set up a portal, and get going! Don't waste any more of my time, you fools!" He was obviously frustrated.

The men rushed around trying to find a suitable place to stand and set up the portal. They formed a circle and then each man stretched out an arm. A bright light spread throughout the room. It was so bright, the two hiding fallen had to duck further behind the weapon rack. On the ground, a circle with elegant markings appeared on the floor, giving off even more light. The men nodded to each other and began jumping into the center of the circle, disappearing as they did so. Fen's eyes widened again. This is it! This was their ticket out of this place! The boy nodded towards her. They would make a run for it. They would escape to the human realm. What better opportunity would they have?

The younger fallen gripped Fen's hand and she could feel him tremble. A mix of anticipation and fear welled up inside herself then, and made her shiver too. The leader was still standing there. They wouldn't get anywhere without another plan.

The boy looked to the weapons rack. Fen did so as well, then reached for another small knife, carefully storing it away in her ratty cloak. Then, she took a small smoke bomb.

"When I throw this. We run for the portal." Fen could tell it was going to close soon. This needed to happen now.

Without further warning, she threw the bomb. It erupted with a loud bang. She pushed over the weapons rack, making even more noise, and then dashed across the room, and towards the circle. She could hear the leader coughing and shouting incomprehensible things. "Aha! So this is where you were hiding! You fools!" The smoke from the bomb hadn't cleared yet.

The light from the circle was bright. So bright, she could feel it's warmth emanating. They were almost there! Sweet freedom. She wanted so badly to celebrate, but it was too soon.

She felt a sharp tug on her hair, and made an animal-like sound. How dare this person get in the way of her escape. How dare they!? She had a right to be free, didn't she? Didn't everyone here? Didn't this boy?

She reached for her knife, and slashed at the man's arm, forcing him to let go, and then the boy bit him. Fen heard the leader growl and throw the child off him. She knew that if he hadn't been so disoriented from the smoke, he would have subdued them easily, but for now she was grateful. The boy recovered from the man's throw, and scrambled to his feet. He tugged his companion's arm again desperately, and they turned, making a straight out sprint for the portal. At the final moment, the boy tripped. "No, you don't-!" Fen picked him up by the arms, and was about to toss him into the circle.

"You'll pay, you, YOU VERMIN!" The Demigod yelled, and swung the large staff he had been lugging around.

"Oomph!" It hit her head with a loud thud. In the end, she felt her body collapse, and the two fell through the portal. As soon as they did so, it sealed itself shut, and Hell's armory returned to it's usual darkness.
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2nd memory

The sun was shining in the human town of Paz. People passed through the town's streets giggling and smiling. There seemed to be nothing that could stop their chatter.

Fen awoke slowly to the sound of this nonstop chatter. Never in her life had she experienced such disoriented feelings. Her back was on fire, and her muscles were sore. Why was she sleeping like this?

Her hand reached up to her head, which was throbbing. A white cloth was tied around it, almost like some sort of headband. She took her hand away and noticed some blood on it then. She froze up. She tried hard, but she couldn't recall how she wound up in this place. Why was she here? What was here? Fen tried even harder to remember. Her mind took a moment to gather the memories it still possessed.

Her name was Fen Fey. She was born an angel. She had done something wrong. She became a fallen. She was sentenced to Purgatory. There was a pain. She stared at someone in a dark place, a friend. That must have been Purgatory, or was it Hell? She remembered running. And, and that was it. Bits and pieces of foggy moments were circling around in her head, but it was so hard to connect them. What's more, she couldn't remember what she had done that had forced her to become a fallen. It was saddening.

Her arms helped her lift her torso up from the ground. She sat, confused. What was this? Someone had thrown a blanket over her. There were heaps of soft cloth around her as well. It was a makeshift bed. Did she make this? She just couldn't recall.

Suddenly, a figure jumped down from seemingly nowhere. Startled, Fen yelped and swung her arm in an act of defense. The person dodged and moved to the side, now sitting as well. He did nothing but stare at her. There was something about his face that was familiar. Especially his eyes. One was blinded and white, while the other was a piercing hazel. He peered over at her and clicked his tongue, then his teeth. "Tch."

The sound seemed to jog her memory. Yes, she could tell now. He was a friend. She reached up her arms like a child and gestured for him to come closer so she could get a better look at his face. He gave her a skeptical look, then obliged.

Like a blind person, she felt his face and studied his eyes.

"What is your name?" Fen asked, but he didn't answer. "You have a name, don't you? I'm sorry, but if you've told me it before...I'm sorry. I just can't recall."

Still, he said nothing, but his eyes darted to the side awkwardly.

"What's the matter?"

The boy tapped his neck and opened his mouth slightly. Was he hungry or something? He tapped it again, seeing Fen's confused expression, and this time made a raspy sound from the back of his throat. Ah, it was his voice. It was gone.

"Oh..." Fen frowned. How would she ever remember the name of this oddly familiar boy? This was so disappointing. He must have sensed her negative emotions, for he bit the tip of one of his fingers hard.

A small stream of blood appeared on his index finger and he dragged it along the ground. He slowly wrote in an angelic language, in symbols, that Fen could read.

"L-" Fen tried to sound out the syllables as he wrote. "L- Li- Lika- No, Liko...Liko. Is that your name?"

He nodded and smeared the red on the stone with his palm. This was good. A first name was enough. She was satisfied.

Liko tilted his head and then began to untie the white headband from around her head. His hands worked quickly and undid the knot that was sitting on her forehead. The boy seemed hesitant to pull it away though. When he did, she could see why. The back of the band was stained with red. So she was wounded after all. And she was being nursed back to health.

She looked around to see stalls of a marketplace. She was sitting behind one now. It seems there was a narrow space between the back of this market stall and the wall of the next building over. Fen looked up to see a large tree branch pushing up against the building's side. Liko must have been sitting there before he had jumped down. She looked past the branch to see the blue sky. Fen laughed. Something about that blue sky was so nostalgic, it made her want to dance.

She had the urge to stand now, and explore too! How exciting! This was the human realm. She couldn't remember if this was her first time on Earth. For now, she would act like it was.

"You alright back there?" An unfamiliar voice shouted, but she couldn't see who it was. Her head snapped to the side to see there was a woman from the other side of the stall. She was clearly talking to them though through the cracks of the wood of the stall.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine," Fen replied. She was going to stand, but Liko pushed her shoulder down.

The woman, Fen guessed she was the owner of the store, walked around to the back. Liko didn't seem threatened by her presence, so Fen kept calm.

"You finally awoke, yeh?" The woman put her hands on her hips. "Gave this kid a nasty fright you did. Came to me days ago in the rain, silently o' course. Scared the s**t outta me!" She laughed. This person was certainly a loud woman, but friendly, and warm. She wore a large beige apron and wrapped her hair up in a beautifully patterned red piece of cloth. Her sleeves were rolled up since she must have been working all day, and her skirt was long. Her skin was pale, and she looked to be young, maybe about twenty-five. Fen looked to be about 18 or 19.

"I did? I'm sorry for the inconvenience then." The fallen saw Liko shrug.

"Oh, no! It's all well and fine. I needed someone to take these extra pieces of cloth off ma hands anyway. They just weren't sellin'. People don't got the same taste for this type o' clothing anymore. Besides, you two looked like ya needed it more than I." She sighed and shook her head. "My name's Kiele. I run the textiles and clothing shop at this here market."

"I see...It's nice to meet you, Kiele." Fen put her hand up for a handshake. That was a human thing, wasn't it? She gave a sigh of relief when Kiele shook her hand, instead of giving her a strange look. The shop owner was reluctant to let go of her hand though.

"Now I don't judge, missy, I get a lotta strange folks coming around and buying from me, but I know there's something extra weird about you." Kiele finally took her hand away and crossed her arms. "You two both have this weird hair going on, and when he brought you here, you were in rags. Looked like you got on the wrong guy's bad side." She took a deep breath. "What I wanna know is, where did you come from?"

Fen laughed nervously. "Um, well." She looked to Liko again. "To be honest, we were exiled from our village." It wasn't a complete lie. "They do these things to outcasts..." She looked at the ground for a moment hoping to spark some sympathy in Kiele, so she would leave the issue alone.

"Alright, alright. I get it. I was jus' curious." She rubbed the back of her neck. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Fen grabbed her new blanket with both hands. So this was Kiele's merchandise. "No need to apologize. I'm grateful for your kindness. Both of us are in your debt."

Kiele blushed from the compliment. "Oh. Oh, it was nothin'." She was obviously not used to being called kind. "Besides, this fellow already worked off ya debt. He's been helpin' with the shop for a while now."

"R-Really!?" Fen said, honestly surprised. Liko seemed uncomfortable, so he climbed back on to the tree branch above.

"Yeah. He's somethin' else." Kiele gathered up some of the cloth from the ground and watched the boy climb.

"You shouldn't stay here. I'll give you some directions to the nearest inn instead. Oh, and I gave the boy some extra change for workin' so much." She said, "'Till ya get back on yer feet you should stay there. Paz's kind to vagabonds and such."

"Thanks again." Fen gave a small smile and decided to stand. Her legs felt heavy and unused, so she stumbled before regaining her balance.

"Come on now, Liko!" Fen shouted to the boy, a little bit excited. Though she walked slow, she was happy to be moving around on her own. She used the wall beside her as an aid for balance. "We're going to an inn."

When they had at long last entered the inn, they noticed it was a homely sort of place. Kiele had only directed them since Fen had assured her they would be fine on their own.

They had opened the door to the place, and not a single head turned which was great. The two were fully equipped with new clothing and cloaks along with hoods to hide their strangely colored hair. Liko's cloak was extra thick so his damaged left wing was well hidden.

She took a seat at the bar and rested her chin in her palm. Liko took the seat next to her, but he was a little restless. Fen thought maybe this was his first time in the human realm or in a place like this. She didn't think too much about it. Instead, she asked for the money pouch Kiele had given him so she could order them some food and drink. This place looked like it served more than drinks. Food wasn't necessary for angels, but she was being cursed with hunger now that she was a fallen. She couldn't remember feeling hungry before. Perhaps hunger only occurred after very long amounts of time. It was only a theory.

Fen ordered them both some soup and bread, and within a few minutes, they were served. Liko bit into the bread, and Fen started on the soup. Hunger was an intense thing. They ate like animals and were finished in a matter of minutes.

The man at the bar laughed seeing their enthusiasm and then continued on with his work. The two found themselves blushing from embarrassment.