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I thought I'd just post in here for the 60 gold you get...yes I'm that desperate to get the halloween Jack hat item- but IT'S A HALLOWEEN THING I'M COMPELLED TO!

But I guess, I'll give some love to mah journal while I'm here at least. It's been a while.

So, everything before August was going as usual...August was really heart breaking. My parents spent my birthday on their bed in their room. My brother told me "happy birthday, ugly." and even though I never heard it, my dad swears he told me happy birthday...but if he did he probably added "s**t head" to the end of it. I know I'm 20 and birthdays are "going to get worse the older you get" quoting my mother... but a birthday cake without any candles and no singing to awkwardly wish would do...okay, I'm glad they didn't sing, but no one sat at the table with me when I got the second slice of cake...my youngest brother decided to help himself. Overall, I didn't care about the cake- it was the concept. I spent my 20th birthday alone on a couch watching Adventure Time and whatever else I could find for the day.
I did have an old friend from my childhood neighborhood stay the night....only to be sent home early for still having lice. Some things really don't ever change.
The best thing I did get was a text from my wonderful boyfriend at midnight telling me "Happy Birthday, darlin" no "s**t heads" or "uglys" or people who quickly wished it just to rush back to telling me about their problems.. I don't know what the hell I was thinking...actually EXPECTING something family oriented from my family...no wonder my best friend threw my sweet sixteen for me.. which resulted in us getting fussed at for having a huge expired icing fight and then washing off in the pond...and getting stuck in it during a storm. Curse you unpredictable weather!

I have to admit, since the Belyeus "adopted" me their family ways have been rubbing off. Things like: actually going to the doctor when you're sick. Hugging each other. Sitting more than one person on the love seat. The list goes on. Thanks to them, I've gotten medication for my anxiety disorder, depression, dislocated bones from car wrecks, and - do you know how long it had been since I had seen a dentist without their help!?
It's so hard not to feel like a spoiled rotten brat here! I do try to work myself to close as death as possible to pay them back in every way possible. I'll do anything to house repairs and cleaning, washing cars, harvesting food, and watching the grandmother!...even if she scares me...
What's important is that I'm happy and safe away from my abusive brother and neglectful family....ugh, I hate admitting that... but as my therapist said: it's common to...

I've been sick for the past month on top of being heartbroken about my birthday...which just makes birthdays cause anxiety for me since I don't really know what they expect and I feel like it's my fault if I disappoint them!
ANYWAYS! I've been trying to freaking get over being sick. I've had bronchitis, asthma and a sinus infection..I feel pretty freaking awful and I just want to sleep and rest...so my room mate invites her loud friend over.. They're gonna stay up all night and CACKLE. THIS HOUSE IS TOO SMALL FOR THAT! I'm at the phase during the sickness where you can't sleep. I took a muscle relaxer that has paralyzed my left side before (temporarily) and that didn't even make me blink.
A few other bad things happened in September that I'm not going to go into detail about- especially over gaia. Just...September - I'm glad you're gone.

OCTOBER! I LOVE THIS MONTH YES VERY MUCH THANK YOU. I decorated for Halloween back in freaking August when I came home from hell. I've been too sick to decorate the living room and it makes me so sad! I have a wax warmer with pumpkin scented wax THAT I CAN'T EVEN SMELL- if only you knew how long I've been waiting to use those! And I love fall colors! And I'm sick of this heat! And I want the bugs to go some where! And this year I get to take Chris trick or treating for the first time!
I'm going to be a (hopefully not a play boy) bunny coming out of a hat that sits on top of a table! So far I have some foam taped together and a big hole cut into the cardboard...I really don't feel good.
HHHhhhhhh! I finally have my 10k to get that event hat! and I'm running out of things to complain about! BYE!