Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I find no rest in sleep, and no peace in wakefulness

Fear and panic over-come my ever wakening thought, and nightmares my resting mind.

I do not let the fear control me, but I know it’s ever grasping fingers. Reaching for my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams those tendrils of darkness to strangle the beauty, from anything and everything.

I sit here… knowing that tomorrow I must face this all again, and again. the never ending torment. Trapped inside my own head, my thoughts my own tower from which there is no escape.

Perhaps there isn’t a point in all of this any-longer. I scream futilely to a wall of brick, with no one to hear my ragged shrieks … my throat raw from the cries, but it doesn’t matter. No one will hear. No one will ever hear. I know that now, and knowing does give some solace.

As the night wraps her peaceful arms around me; my only company the darkness that veils me. I take comfort in the calm around me; even if I cannot find any inside. In that scrap of comfort, I find enough will to press onward, enough to fight back the tendrils of fear for another night.