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The 24th is my mother's birthday, so yesterday (now) she turned 61. So happy to have her!

Today is our birthday, but it feels like it couldn't matter less. I'm broke, I've given up the money I was saving because we didn't have enough to pay all the bills last week, and the money I just got, went into the new air conditioner for the front room.

I don't even work today, so I'm probably going to stay home and wash dishes, do whatever needs to be done around the house. I feel the need to do better than just a part time job, but don't know where to start, and I'm actually kind of afraid of screwing up again.

I'm single, because even though part of me wishes I could be in a relationship, the only person I really want to be with, doesn't even want to talk to me. I couldn't even get him to mend the fence with me. Any other guy trying to talk to me is just wasting their time. I often wonder, what's wrong with me? What am I doing wrong?

I try to have a point in these entries, but really, this one doesn't have one. I just wanted to sulk. I'll probably make another later on in the day, something more upbeat, more happy. Please read that one as well.