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Growing up was hard for me, in fact, i can say i hated most of my childhood. I dealt with bullies, idiot teachers and counselors that didn't know what to do with me, and parents that fought everyday (even after the divorce). I had issues with my body, like any normal person, but no one ever explained to me what was going on. My parents were always to busy fighting to take the time to explain all the things i needed to know as a young lady, and everyone else figured it was not their place to give me the much needed information. It really wasn't until middle school when i had to take a mandatory health class that i found anything out. Keep in mind, i started to develop really early on, You can only imagine what it was like for a 9 year old to start experiencing things like a periods or bras or all the gross body changes that came with being a young lady. Because of this, there was a lot of cruel treatment from other kids my age. I was called a freak, an ugly whore, a slob; boys made vulgar comments and pushed me around and treated me badly. As i got older it only got worse, the boys got hornier and more disgusting and the girls were a lot more cruel. I remember my first day in middle school during lunch; i was standing in line when out of nowhere some girl punched me in my back...I had never met her before then. There was this one science teacher that swore i was a satanist, she even called for a parent/teacher conference. Luckily the vice principle was a little smarter and understanding than she was. High school dragged me through a hell i will never forget...i wish i could, though. There was a small group of boys that made it their job to make me cry everyday. They criticized my religious beliefs, my looks, my intelligence, and even tried to make it look like i wanted to shoot up the school by writing things one the boards that said "tomorrow i will kill everyone -Veronica" or " i'm going to kill everyone-Veronica" they even went as far as to tell one teacher i threatened to kill them. My confidence by that point was almost non-existent, my self-esteem was so low i was barely there at all. I never saw myself as pretty, or smart, or even human for a long, long time. Some time after high school i was looking in the mirror and just decided my freckles were actually cute and from there i had been trying to rebuild myself. Only in the last couple years have i become comfortable in my own skin and am able to own my curves. My relationship with my parents has gotten a lot better and im looking forward to the future. I thank my friends, especially those I've known since middle school, they kept me going when i just wanted to give up, I thank my little brother Eric for the promise i made him, he is literally the thing that kept me alive. I'm happy with myself now, i learned that even with all the troubles and cruelty i experienced, i couldn't let that define me or how i feel about myself. I learned to love myself and i am still learning that i am beautiful. I hope that i can show my little sister that its going to be okay. People are going to be cruel, but what they think does not define who she is.
TipsyWitchyVee · Wed Aug 05, 2015 @ 03:29am · 0 Comments |
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