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today sucked. the last day of school and its no better than any other day. in fact, i feel like i still have school monday. rick drove me to school again. which really bugs the s**t outta me. but whats worse is that i really really really wanted my mom to take me. she even said yes for a few minutes there and i was convinced that she would. so my hopes were up, and then as i was getting ready, i noticed shed crawled back in bed. i called to her and she just answered with a tired sounding "what" and that pretty much set the mood for today. actually, i should probably start with last night if you really want to know what set my day off. i was up till 3: 30 in the morning doing school stuff. i had to organize my latin binder. but that wasnt until after i gave up and called my basket finished. i ran out of the most important material for my basket so it turned out really shitty and way off from what i wanted. so i stayed up later and still felt like i had nothing done. i didnt study at all for any of my exams or anything. the only thing that made it possible for me to sleep was knowing that my binder was organized. ok. so then i went to my room to go to bed. checked my computer as usual. crawled up and then had issues sleeping. when i finally woke up this morning, only an hour or two after going to sleep, i discovered my alarm had been blasting at me for about half an hour, my elbow was stiff and when i tried unbending it it hurt, and my neck was stiff too. i had a headached and overall just felt sick and tired, but i got up none the less. i kept all of my complaints about everything bottled up while getting ready and what not. then, as i was leaving, angry that my mom decided against driving me because she thought shed be driving geoff later on(which i KNEW wouldnt happen) i realized that i left my basket at 'home' and had to ask rick to turn around and go back. while inside, i took some ibuprofen for my head, but it didnt work for quite a while.
i got to school with very little time to spend with anyone and then had to rush off to my english exam. the english exam sucked, as expected. unfortunately, vocab was the hardest section and yet i thought i knew that part. the bell rang and i had to waste the majority of my break finishing my long essay answer. then i had to rush to latin and cram/ review because i couldnt remember anything and was panicking. i took the exam and kept confusing myself on endings for future and perfect tense. i couldnt remember most of the culture section. however, i figure, even if i dont do well on the exam, ill still get a pretty high score for the class overall.
so at the end of the exam, i tried to read as much of Black Cat vol.2 as possible before the end of the testing period, but i only made it through about a third. then the bell rang and i had to rush across the school to hand in my crappy disappointment (aka, my basket). i bumped into victoria and she came with me to turn it in. i finally got to completely realize how shitty my basket turned out in comparison to everyone elses. and then i had to rush back across the school and up the stairs to find christy and giver her back the manga. while across there, since i hadnt seen anyone near our usual meeting spot after school, i looked for sabrina near her locker. i didnt see anyone except for hindo and her group, which im not close to except for maybe hindo. then i went back down and called my "mom" only to find that whe was stuck at the train tracks, then the phone cut off because i was walking down the band hallway to see if anyone was there. i didnt go in the band room and out that door though, because i saw one of the evil band teachers go in and i have a horrible fear of being yelled at or lectured for doing anything. so i went out the side door near the band area and tried to enjoy the rain and was happy for a moment. i went and waited on my usual spot at the entrance of the school and after 7 minutes ("mom" had managed to tell me that shed be there about then before i got cut off) i called her back and asked where she was. by then id had plenty of time to wonder if everyone had left without me to go somewhere and hang out. "mom" and i went through a very confusing conversation of where she was. and then i found out why. so i walk all the way around the school after finally figuring out where she was and why i didnt see her come in. she let GEOFF DRIVE!! so that meant that not only did i hafta walk halfway across the school, but i also had to wait for geoff to get his damn a** out of the school after he finished cleaning his locker out and hung out with friends. i was kinda jealous though, because he at least got to see his friends. then they revealed to me that rick had come home early from work because he had a headache and i thought to myself "what a baby! i went to school feeling like s**t and took two long exams and yet he cant make it through a day of work with just a headache!!" . . . . . but i didnt think too much about that on the way home. instead, i kept thinking to myself about how much today sucked and how everyone had probably gone on to ihop and what not. when we got home and geoff finally got out of the car i started to break down. it fully hit how much i already knew about the summer and how much of it really sucked. im gonna hafta put up with sunlight and rick and geoff and greg and everyone else that i dont want to see at all and be almost completely shut off from everyone i know and actually like being around. and all the s**t that i hafta do over the summer is just stressing the s**t out of me. so, when i finally did enter, i waited for rick to leave by sitting in the living room with greg's laptop. i hung out on the computer checking everything out like i usually do and found a few posts about ihop and just knew everyone had gone on without me. but i didnt want to believe it so i waited and waited for someone to get on. then rick left so i went into the tv room with the laptop and put on anime on demand in a desperate attempt to make myself just forget the whole day and try to cheer myself up. and it worked for a little bit. then sian got on and sent me a message and i just had to ask where everyone had been to confirm what i already knew. and that got me feeling like s**t again and thinking about my whole day all over again. and then the computer bugged the s**t out of me so i go upstairs to see that my mom managed to get my computer frozen. i gave u trying to do anything about my computer. instead i curled up in bed, pulled the covers over my head, and tried to daydream until i fell asleep. i woke up several hours later and began to daydream again. and now every once in a while, my mind thinks back over today and i start to feel emo again and so i cry. and then it kinda stifles itself a little. and then it comes back. and yeah.
anyways. this entry is mainly just a compilation me feeling sorry for myself and having a sucky day and depressing thoughts about summer.
WHY ISNT SUMMER VACATION OVER YET!!!!!! scream gonk
Unni Ineo · Sat Jun 03, 2006 @ 02:23am · 0 Comments |
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