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If you want, we can be runaways
Running form any site of love.
There ain't nothing here for me, there ain't nothing here for me anymore,
But I don't want to be alone.

I remember when we devised a plan,
To love each other and only each other,
But fulfill our needs in other people.

I think I'm the only one who genuinely wanted to have that happen,
Who was content only having you.

It's strange though,
I've always been the one more obsessed with love and adoration from my significant other.
I need to know that they're obsessed with me, that they need my affections,
That they're fighting with themselves every single time to hide it from me.

I want to seem them fighting to hide it,
It gets me off in some sick way.

But you've never been so concerned with love,
Still, I know that this plan could never come to fruition.

Even when I was engaged, even when I felt like I was in love,
I knew all of those things were only temporary until the day you and I were finally able to make our plan happen.

Eventually, I realized this would never work.
You don't actually like detached sexual encounters,
But they've become my preference.

Who knew that I would be so okay with not having someone who truly loves me sharing my bed?
The sense of relief it gives me is unreal,
To know I owe this person next to me nothing.

I love Brogan, sure, but I'm not in love with him.
It's the perfect balance of not just sleeping around, but not lending myself to someone for more than a night.

I get exactly what I need.
Except for the love and adoration that I want from you.

Forever struggling to get to where I need to be.