So I dropped out of dramatic arts school and right now I'm working at the airport. I'm still with Jorge. We've been together for two years now. Also, my sister had another baby, who's called Fiorella. I think it's such a nice name. My nephew is two years old now and he's starting to speak. heart So César and I have very really slowly regained contact on each other. He's been in a relationship too with a guy for two years now. I still feel funny when I hug him. I think it's just that possesive part of me that has a hard time letting people go. Through my relationship with Jorge I've found that out. I can be a strangling lover, pushy and needy. I've been working on that. César loves me a whole lot and I love him much too, in the way people that has shared beautiful time together love each other. We're good friends. I obviously will always be dying to kiss him whenever we hug hahaha, but I can love him with that distance. This whole year has been about finding out love doesn't have to be developed in a certain official way. Like people are always putting their loved ones in different groups. There's your family who you love a certain way. Then there's your best friends. There's your friends and your romantic partners. And we excercise our love in different ways according to what group each person is in. I've started letting that go. Like, I usually talk to my boyfriend about the guys I think are sexy and who I feel attracted to. He does the same and, even though I felt unconfortable at the beggining, I've come to enjoy it. Also I've started leaving behind the idea that I can't kiss my friends or get naughty with them hahaha. We, as a species, have built so many taboos around kissing and sexual interaction that it's gone far from what it was in the beggining: A demonstration of our proximity, an excercise of bonding and sharing pleasure. So, Jorge and I are together but we're not that exclusive. I love him.
Now, if we talk about money, it hasn't been such a nice year. My family is going through a harsh time. The whole country is convulsing in an economic crisis which doesn't seem to be getting better any time soon. Our president's sold most of the oil beneath our feet for the next 8 years because of a huge debt and all of his political shananigans. At the beggining of the year, January the 8th to be accurate, I had a surgery. I had my appendix removed. It wouldn't have been such a biggie if it hadn't blown in a million pieces inside me, causing a mean infection which almost ended my life. I spent a whole month in bed. My mom took care of me that whole time. She seemed so in control during that whole time, making me feel calmed. I only learned I almost died at the end of that month. My insurance didn't cover that up, so we had to spend around $6000, which in my country and situation is a big number. That left us pretty broke. It's been six months since that and we're still getting on our feet. My body does feel different, like now I can't drink too much -which is something I loved to do- and I must eat on time or I'll feel a bad pain in my stomach. I can't tell the difference too much now. I've been getting used to the new me. I haven't been writing a lot of poetry lately. I feel like I've lost contact with things that used to be a part of me. These I'm living are also times of uncertainty.
azaeru Community Member 
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